Garth Bigelow - Thoughts - February, 2008

The day started slowly. My plan was destimulate by doing as little as possible during the day, knowing that I was going out to dinner that evening. Mostly Dan and I watched TV and John joined in in the afternoon.

Then it was back to Variasian (Crazy Buffet) - which I probably would have skipped last week had I known I was going to be there again so soon. John and I drove down - we were supposed to meet Lou and Chris and Lisa there at 7.

When we stopped for gas I realized that I had forgotten my headset, but being all but there we decided to risk it. Luckily it turned out to be fairly quiet. I joked that Chris, being Chris, would be an hour late. It turned out that he was an hour and a half late and we had largely finished eating when he and Lisa arrived.

We swapped stories of the good/bad old days and didn't leave until 10:15, seconds ahead of them kicking us out.

Plans were made to get together on Monday. We will see if this comes to pass. (it did not)

The plan is to do almost nothing today. John is away at a Superbowl party at Lou's. Dan always sleeps most of Sunday afternoon. Bob Dutton is scheduled to come over at sometime but that is always very low key.

I watched TV all more until the TiVo was all by dry. Last night I had gone to bed around 8:30 but then got sucked into the laptop after making the discovering that guy with the website in Thailand (the one that moved from NYC) had no contact information AND was in the process of moving because the bloom was off the rose for him in Pattaya and he was moving to the Philippines. So up until 11pm reading his blog about the Thai people making changes to Thailand to more efficiently bleed the money from the tourists. Hopefully as my expectations are low I won't notice the difference.

I still got a good nights sleep and after the morning TV meditation am feeling much better and caught up a lot on this blog and emails and the like.

And now I'm heading back to the TV.

Bob did drop by and we have a wonderful walk down a memory lane that both of us agree is full of inaccuracies. He had memories of the movie theater next to and above the Strand in Oak Bluffs. I had forgotten this second run theater where I have seen such marvelous wonders as 'Allegro Non Troppo' and 'F is for Fake' as well as some truly awful foreign films. I think this building has been reused in some of my dreams, but until now I didn't no what that was based on. Bob's visits are never long enough, but he promised to come back next weekend. He is going to handle the one bill I can't automate after I leave.

On a related note Andrue Carr finally emailed me back and is willing to handle keeping this website registered and online. I couldn't think of anyone in the family up to the task. Strange how my family and I have such a completely opposite skill set.

Okay, things are very hectic getting ready for the flight and when there is down time I'm using it relaxing my mind. So there will be little or no posting until Feb 18th.

But I am taking notes and will have 20 uninterrupted hours on the plane to flesh them out, so when I do post it there will be lots of stuff.

After that, due to infrequent internet access I will, most weeks, only be updating once a week (mostly likely on Saturday (which is your Friday or Sunday - I haven't figured that out yet)) But I will be working on it offline so each weeks postings should be pretty full.

The point is don't worry if a week goes by without a post.

Here's some pictures I found from 2003 (pre-implant) to tide you over. It's from when I was still trying to hide my symptoms, but from these shots I guess I wasn't doing as good a job as I thought.

I still own that shirt. It is back in Florida in a draw. I so wish I had one of my sleevless shirts here.

After much driving around John and I went to Perkins. It was after 1pm but breakfast was on our minds. Perkins is one of the few places in the south that makes Hollandaise sauce correctly - which is to say the way I like it. And they have lots of different Benedict style meals to boot. Now I had a blood test scheduled of the following morning so I'd have to fast after 6pm so this was to be the meal of know the day. Double Bacon Eggs Benny it was with a side of bacon as well. It was meal nearly as big as John's and for some reason I didn't feel overly stuffed afterward (perhaps as I'd not had anything before.)

I don't remember if I mentioned last week that will trying to find out where to get Travelers Checques, I discovered that I could buy up to a $1000 worth of Bahts (the Thai currency) online from American Express. It's a weird feeling being able to order money through the mail. Anyway the package arrived today. It didn't eve require a signature, UPS just dropped the envelope on my doorstop, rang the bell and ran.

I got three different denominations" 100, 500, 1000. Each one is a slightly different size and color. Each has a picture of the same person, I assume the emperor. So now I don't have to worry about taxi fare and the like when I get off the plane at midnight in Bangkok.

I decide to order a hotel in Bangkok so that I am not wandering around dead tired trying to get to Pattaya and waiting until I can check in. I find a reasonable priced one - the 13 Gold Coins - that is near the airport and only $40 which includes everything but the taxi to it.

In ordering it, I discover that I haven't filed the printout on the Pattaya hotel. I don't even remember the name of it. It will be in the enail somewhere, but with so many accounts and no info to search for this is not a task I'm looking forward to. So I put it off.

I've made the mistake in the past of going to Quest fir blood work too early. If you get there right when they open at 6:30 you might get in and out quickly. But if you are a few minutes later you are in for a long wait. But last time I asked the nurse when I good time to come was and she said after the opening rush. So I sleep until I wake up, which allows me to sleep better. I get there around 9, and almost every seat is taken. Still it wasn't bad and I was out of there in under an hour. They took more blood than ever before. I have no idea what extra tests he ordered.

It's Super Tuesday and like me, although for different reasons, John is not voting for the first time in ages. If you are a conservative in Massachusetts Primaries become very important because it is the only time your votes get counted. After all by the election however you vote your electoral votes are going to the Democrats, So he was a little peeved that he had forgot to set up for absentee voting.

Only nine days until my trip. And the panic has set in again. It switches back and forth in my damaged brain from the idea that I am crazy to be doing this, to on most days the wonderful notion of not having to concern myself with dying and just go and enjoy living. But today it is the panic and I wonder whatever possessed me to think that I could handle such chaos and quantities of unknowns. These are exactly my fortes any more.

John surprises me by asking for the painting (the one my mother hates). I'm glad it goes to someone that wanted it, the painting as sentimental value to me. We wrap it in table clothes but even odds says the glass breaks before he gets it home.

After the packing we discover that the TiVo is down to the dregs and there is nothing all three of us want to watch. John digs Primevil out of the van. It's a British TV show, sci-fi, holes in time, dinosaurs, that sort of thing. Good budget, reasonable script and a cute assistant - what's not to like? A couple of episodes in Shaun drops by wants to know if we want to join him and Marilyn for dinner at Vihn's/ But we are all tired and full and I've got no traveling left in me this day. I ask him to bring me back Summer rolls and John adds a "me too."

Around nine we finish up the first DVD of Primevil and we decide to pack it in. John heads off back to his hotel and decide to play a few rounds of Black Nova on the computer. And as it often does with that game time gets away from me. I take my night pills, lock up the house and play a little more while I wait for them to kick in. While I'm waiting, around 10pm the door bell rings and I'm like "who the hell is ringing the bell at 10pm? Of course it's Shaun, who we completely forgot about.

Now several key factors come into play here: Summer rolls are only good for a very brief time (by morning they would be stale), Vihn's makes the best Summer rolls, I had a great one in forever, and how filling can a Summer roll be? The answer is me having trouble sleeping. It is true one roll is not very filling. It's just shrimp and rice and thyme wrapped in wonton. And of course peanut sauce for dipping. Four Summer rolls and a small vat of peanut sauce sitting on top a good sized dinner early, that's filling. Lot's of tossing and turning for me. But I don't regret it - they were marvelous.

John's final day today. You'd think it would be more memorable, but writing from the future with only the note 'John Leaves' to guide me. I got nothing.

I have the first appointment of the day and Dr. Yoon does not disappoint - in terms of managing not be late right out of the gate. In terms of doctoring he is still of the mind that covering his own ass is more important than my health. But I've been saving my prescriptions so my leash is not as short as he thinks it is. I agree to find a psychiatrist when I come back (easy to promise as I'm not coming back) and he spends just a few minutes with me.

At the clerk I try to get my medical records. And she's like well this could take some time - which is why I called it in last week (sign) - and as it's all computerized and will require virtually no effort or cost to do so, they charge a buck a page. And unlike every other doctor I've had, I don't ge the whole file, I'm asked how far back I want. I'm tempted to blame this one as an example of something computer's should not be used for, but really it's just shoddy medical staff.

Straight from there, I take my scripts to Walgreens and order 4 months of Lantus and 2 months of everything else. Then over to Target and have a list printed up of all remaining refills. It's more than I thought. All told I've got 3 months minimum of everything and seven months of Lantus - the one drug I was worried about finding overseas.

Those errands done, I head to McDonald's for a quick small breakfast - just enough to take the edge off as I plan on going to Cracker Barrel within a few hours. And then down to Stone for my last Implant. I'm getting this one two months early so I'm expected extra good control during the overlap period but also especially lowered cognitive skills. I like this place, they are ready when they say they will be (I'm a good 15 minutes early of course.) No tests, just lie down, brace and whack! I'm out the door in less than half an hour.

I have directions to the AAA, and figure it is the same exit as the giant AAA building you see from the highway, but as these directions send me away from that that one must be a headquarters. At the last possible second I realize that my directions are from the west, and so yes, it is the huge building. A longish drive alone frontage type roads later and I'm looking for parking in packed a lot. The parking lots are terraced, like descending levels of hell and I think my spot was probably still in the same zip code. Normally don't mind a walk in pleasant perfect weather, but here I'm carrying six grand in cash and my hind brain is still working on "What can go wrong?"

Once inside it couldn't have gone smoother. The office I needed was right of the entrance I chose. I didn't have to wait in the huge packed waiting area but was instead directed to the teller window. A few hundred signatures later and I had my checques. All safe a secure.

While mounting the expedition back down to my car I realized that I must have driven most of the way back to the Cracker Barrel exit. If I just followed the frontage road it should be much easier and quicker. Well I ended up on the wrong side of the mall, and it probably would have been easier to take the highway, but I did get there. Bonus, at this time of day it was practically empty. I always have the same thing except lately their wonderful old fashioned bacon has been added to the mix (I think I got addicted to bacon back on the cruises and this is as close to that bacon as I can find.)

Jia makes a last ditch attempt at talking me out of trip. I can understand that they don't understand - hey, my brain doesn't work, I'm not going to be exactly predictable or logical. But the trip is important to me. It's happening.

Damn it, I find more pictures and another draw of personal papers. I thought most of my mailing was done. Also found a picture CD, of all the photos Tracy took when were on the road in 2003. All of the pictures that were up above waiting for me to type all this came from that.

[Reality check: It's 9:30 EST, and I'm slightly more than half way through the second leg of flight. We have just entered into Russian airspace, having descended from the great icy north that no country has felt the need to claim. I just finished a wonderful dinner and am contemplating trying tr seo catch a nap. I've been typing for several hours having to use the laptop's own faccata keyboard and still haven't caught up with the past. I do have several pages of handwritten scribbles from today's events - done back before I discovered I could plus the laptop into the very strange looking socket. So I think that is it for now, and I will finish getting up to date when I can get up proper - or if I get real board next leg.]

Too much sun yesterday, Feel like crap but too much to do.

Picked up the drugs, most ready, have to go back Monday for more. 6 vials of Lantus.

Dan is sick on his birthday.

Just booked a single night in a hotel near the Bangkok airport. $40 everything included except transportation. Now I don't have to wonder about dealing with arriving at midnight.

Spend hours and hours online with Google Maps looking at possibilities for the future. Checking out length of stay and Visa requirements for many countries. Find a strange little part of Alaska named Unalaska which catches my eye.

I wake up realizing I am late for the doctors. I leap out of bed. Good it is only 7:25; I've got 50 minutes. Rush rush rush. I jump in the shower. Wait a minute isn't it Saturday? Damn, I was supposed to go yesterday. Wait a minute - it's Sunday. And I did go to the doctor's office on Friday. Welcome to my world. Well I'm up and showered. Yawning, but up and showered. Think I'll watch TV and take Dan out for lunch for his birthday if he feels better today.

One big breakfast at Perkins for me around 2pm and two large breakfasts for Dan and we each take a muffin home. It's the muffin that finishes us off and we both sit in the sofa chairs drifting in and out of consciousness until Bob Dutton shows up a bit past 5. Remembering that we were going to go out to dinner I try to think of a place I can eat lightly - and Olive Garden comes to mind. And here I'm eating again - not too worried tomorrow starts the cleanse getting my body ready for the airplane flight - and it's salad and brushetta, probably the healthiest meal I've had since Lloyd visited.

I wish I could remember what we talked about - teaching and about students and the importance/unimportance of grammar but it is already fading which is shame because I was enjoying it a lot.

I decide to remove the last bit of potential aggravation. I've been reading quite a bit about the Thai customs hassling people without prepaid travel out before their visa expires even if the traveler has the prerequisite proof of liquidity listed in the embassy website. So I look into flights and find this:

Quite reasonably priced ($260 - half of that taxes and fees) and brings me back just in time to use the ticket I bought way back when I was trying to get a 90 day Visa, for the next leg out.

Strangely I have not researched Kuala Lumpur at all except to know that it has the world's tallest building and allows 90 day instant visas for US citizens. I really need to read up on this.

When looking over the Visa rules for some countries, even the instant visas for some seem to require passport photos. So I figure I'll get 12 2x2s and keep them in the travel folder. This can be done at The UPS Store which is right next to the Dry Cleaners which is halfway to the Eye Glass place - all errands I have to do, so I have assigned them to this morning.

So I plan out my day to go to Deland and get all this done, when I look at the calendar and realize that it is the day for the final immunization shot. And that's completely in the other direction in the outskirts of Deltona. But it is almost from 1pn to 3pm. So I rummage through my closet for things that might need dry cleaning. A shirt and two pants that are going to Thailand with me, a $1500 suit I wore once and so similar items that I figure can sell for more if they are in a fresh dry cleaning bag. I chuck them in the car and off to the far end of Woodlawn Plaza. The drycleaners takes three seconds. Pick them up Wednesday after 2pm.

I almost get run down twice trying to cross the inner rim of the packing lot, only to remember I also had to go to the UPS Store. Tiny little place, Jeremy had a Post Office Box there back when he was an eBay account for me. The place was being remodeled and it sure didn't look like they took passport photos. But I asked and was taken into the rubble of the backroom and propped against a white door and 5 double pictures were taken. The lighting was dark, the pictures dreary and the cost was almost $50. But both errands were quick.

No one tried to run me down as I walked back to the car. A short drive through much construction I was on New York avenue in Deland - a stones through from the Linrary book sale my Mom and Dan have so enjoyed. On eyeglass pair number one, they again replaced the missing nose piece. It wasn't free this time, but since it was a) only $5 and b) I don't think I bought this pair from them, I have no complaints. On the other pair, I had them fix the repair job Jeff had done when the wire holding the right lens had snapped. The job had been done years ago, and was surprisingly good job for one done on the fly like that, but the lens occasionally popped out when cleaning or removing the glasses. This repair was quick and free. I asked about having transition film (self darkening sunglasses) added, and was informed that require new lens. I asked about the snap on sun glasses and they didn't have them in my size. Just couldn't give them business today.

I had finished packing the night before. While I realized I had forgotten a few programs and settings for the laptop there was no way I was unpacking everything. If I end up needing them I'll have to find them on the net.

Squeezing everything into the two cases turned out to be a real brain puzzle. The laptop did not fit in the new padded laptop compartment (so close, so very close, but no go). However it did fit in the first , smallest, outer pocket of suitcase. Not an ideal situation, but as the bags would be with me and not in cargo the less padding shouldn't be an issue. I shoved a lot of the other electronics where the laptop was supposed to go.

The drugs, which I had painstakingly assembled and fit into a storage was clearly not going to fit anywhere. I ended up breaking down the contents into several zip lock bags.

With some pushing there was just enough room for two changes of clothes. Toiletries and such went into the smaller carry bag.

I was unable to find the book I had wanted to read but otherwise a week of planning paid off.

4mg of Xanax and three sleeping pills put me down like a bull mouse. I awoke just ahead of the 4:30am set alarm clock I had borrow earlier from Shaun.

A quick shower, a glass of tomato juice and one last round of email later it was only 5:30 but I figured better to leave early then to try to kill time.

As it was Dan and I arrived exactly two hours ahead of time (the time suggested for International Flights) and it takes me exactly 4 minutes to get checked in and clear customs/security. So as Shaun had suggested I ask for directions to the First Class lounge. It is really close by - and huge. And there is free wireless so I've got the computer out and am playing a real time wasting game. Meanwhile every few minutes someone comes by and offers me free soda, coffee, fruit, chips - it is different every time. But my stomach is in knots and will not be helped by extra contents so I pass each offer up.

I get bored; I look over the airplane rules: laptop yes, portable hard drive - no. Regardless of the very strange logic that must have gone into that assessment - the local version of my website is stored on the portable hard drive. Doesn't look like I will be typing any of this experience in as it actually happens on the plane. So I ask where I can buy a pad of paper and the hostess goes off and comes back with one. A nice one. And again free, if you call spending five times as much for the ticket free.

The plane boards exactly on time.

First class on Delta (or at least on this plane - I find great difference later in two flights of Korean Airlines that come next) is no great shakes. A little extra room and teh staff is a little friendlier. But hey - this isn't the important leg. This is only 1 hour to Atlanta.

Then - my bag won't fit in the overhead compartment. Very close, but like the laptop earlier - it ain't going to happen. They are able to store it somewhere but caution me that that might be a problem on the next two legs. Oh good, something to worry about.

Embarkation is easy; I'm in the first row. The signs in the Atlanta airport are easy to read and follow. Two escalators of dizzying heights and a subway later, I am at the E terminal. One hour to kill.

Incredibly friendly check in at Korean Air and I'm directed to the Prestige Lounge even before I ask. Either the Wi-Fi wasn't free at this lounge or I needed to ask someone what to do, But as I only had a little time, I instead spent it repacking so more of things I wanted on the flight would be in the smaller case that I would have access to them on this the 14 hour leg of the trip.

The chairs in Business Elite on the plane are of fantastic design - straight vertical to straight horizontal without interfering with any one in front of or behind you. Plus every aspect of the chair is adjustable by a controller. The seat could have used a little more padding, but I suspect that long a trip with a guy my size, that is going to be true of almost any seat. I shove two of the blanket packages under my ass a few hours into the flight.

As I say every facet of the chair can be controlled from the left arm panel as can the TV/radio in front of you. Add massage to this and it would be the perfect chair.

The flight attendants are Korean and to a one - gorgeous. I begin to question the logic of going to a country full of women I have a strong attraction to stereotypically especially given I can't do anything about it.

Talking to my sister yesterday made me realize slowly that there was second less conscious reason for this trip.

The original idea, I think, was to get the dying part over with.

I would be symbolically dead and my family and friends wouldn't have to wonder when the axe would fall. I could then be free to live. The waiting to die would be over.

Wonderful as a psychological construct and possibly - but doubtfully - workable if my mind had clued me in a little sooner so I could have laid the proper ground work. But in practice I know my family and friends are still thinking of me and that this distance only adds to their worry.

All that said I'm still certain that this is the correct course of action. It is exhausting playing a role of having emotions and reactions I no longer truly correctly experience. My mind is changing and I'd much rather go through that alone.

This brings me to a new thought: What will my role be over there? I don't have to perceived as sick unless I choose it so. Pattaya is a party town - a lot of drinking. On bad days I could easily pass as drunk, especially to a foreign culture. So the option of assuming the role of a healthy being is an option. Alternatively I could go halfway - CDS is hard to explain and often tedious to explain because of that. And that's to someone that understands English natively. But a brain tumor covers pretty much all the relevant ideas and should be pretty much universally graspable. I occupy my mind by going over the pros and cons but ultimately decide that I simply won't know until I open my mouth.

Lunch is a big production. Many courses. Even looking at the menu (yes mom, I grabbed it for you) I can't quite figure out what the appetizer is. Nuts and lentils and spinach and lime. It's delicious. The best salad I've had in a long time comes next with lemon vinaigrette dressing and a piping hot roll.

Oh and real silverware (I can't bring a nail clipper on board but I handed a knife and folk?) real plates and glasses made of actual glass. Quality all the way.

It's really like another world, or this world from another time. Is it the first classedness or is this the less commercialized Korean way? Guess I'll learn that if I go to Seoul in my travels.

Oh, and I forgot the little slipper things in the pouch at the foot of each chair. So much more comfortable to travel without shoes on.

The next course was a cheesy zucchini soup - luckily I tasted it before automatically salting it as it was salty enough as it was. Delightful.

I can't get at the camera at the moment but I will be ready to take a picture when they serve dinner.

By the way, due in part to some thought going into my choosing which seat when booking my flight, the seat next to me is empty so I can lay out almost everything I would want into terms of entertainment. And without the laptop in the suitcase in has fit in overhead storage with a millimeter or two to spare.

Now the main course arrives. I've been trapped in place by the folding serving tray for so long now I'm starting to get a little claustrophobic (wow got the spelling right on that one first try) which is a very unusual feeling for me.

This plate is lots of vegetables, undercooked - just the way I like them. Bok choy, carrots, cauliflower. With rice and chicken filet. The chicken was rather dry - the only thing to be average so far.

Guava juice and an endless flow of Evian rounded out the corners.

And then - it just keeps coming - the cheese and fruit course. The fruit is ripe, the cheese is perfect; a strong strong bleu cheese, some camembert and Saint Andre.

I come to realize that if more is coming I'm going to have to refuse it. I'm so glad I didn't stop to eat anything today.

Main Course for Dinner on Korean Airlines

My ass is getting sore. I use two packets of blankets as more padding. Then I discover the lie straight function of the chair I described previously.

Once released from my food tray prison I get up and stretch a little. Then I dig out the camera and the iPod. Setting the iPod to relaxing strains of Ocean Colour Scene, I close my eyes and hope to sleep. Two and half hours into the 14 hour flight. This is the coolest ride ever.

One of the channels on the TV shows us our course and position. We are over Canada?! I started fairly close to the equator and I'm landing even closer to the equator. How does going over upper Canada make any sense?

I feel like I've moved in. It is going to take me an hour to pack to check out when the ride is over.

[The steady flow of notes ends here and there only some random jottings after that]

There were a lot of movies to choose from on the plane. I watched three, none of them in order but I learned I could wait after it ended and watch the beginning until it caught up to where I came in. One was "Across the Universe" which had come out on DVD that day and had wanted to see in the theater. Set to the music of the Beatles it was much more like "Hair" in tone and sensibility than "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. "

I also watched Transporter 2 which was cartoonish compared to the original. Much more like the absurdity of a Bond movie. But fun if taken at that level.

My headset runs out of batteries at some point on the trip and it totally freaks out. Once I shut it off though, the plane is more than quiet enough without it. And the iPod puts out enough power to supply music even without the battery amplification.

The closed the windows shortly after lunch and the plane took on a timeless quality. It wasn't until one flier opened his window shade a crack the illusion was temporarily dispelled and I became aware of it.

For reasons to do mostly with wanting to give them some money, I order a single malt scotch. Don't know where that choice came from, I rarely drink and I don't really like scotch at all. Oddly that made it a good choice as I sipped it for a long long time. As to giving them money, that backfired as liquor too was free.

I have no clear memory of the delineage of days on the three legs of the flight and don't think I did at the time either. I made no notes on the last leg so I will just have to wing it from memory. This should be easy as I slept through most of it.

Inchon airport was chaos. Thousands of people going in all directions. I was unable to get or possibly to follow directions to the First Class Lounge and had to walk all over and ask for redirections three times to get there. It wasn't as nice as the one in Atlanta, but I also was very tired and possibly cranky.

Spoiled as I was now this plane was big disappointment over the other even though it was the same airline. The other plane had been a Boeing 747-400 (I remember this because the 'operating manual' for it was in my line of sight of for 14 hours. That is a huge plane - two levels - very wide. This plane was a 777-300 (not a 100% sure on the 300 part but I am pretty confident) single layer, not as big. The wonderful seats were gone - this was much more like the Delta First Class but marginally better. I had repacked for storage bin at the airport but these overhead bins were almost twice as deep as on the other two planes.

Once in my seat and we had reached cruising speed (the moment I could tip the chair back), I leaned back and tried to force myself asleep. I was surprised to be successful but seeing that I had been up nearly a day, I guess I shouldn't have been. I came to consciousness briefly off and on but most have been asleep a lot more than I thought as the flight was a good deal shorter than I can account for.

At one point when I came round the flight attendant hurried over and tried force food choices at me. Still full from the early flight and just wanting to return to unconsciousness, I declined. They woke me an hour before landing. That last hour seemed to linger forever. The time from landing to docking at the gate is still hanging out there in echoes somewhere.

As with the entire trip the plane touches down right on time. The flight attendant (each flight has had exactly the same four attendants: a matron, two no nonsense brisk ones, and an innocent smiley bubbly one.) - this is the bubbly one - hands me an immigration form. It is in Thai and English - the English is subatomic in letter size (it doesn't help that I'm thirty hours with only a hint of sleep and so confused by time zones that my blood sugar could be anything) so she helps me with it but seems as puzzled by it as I. I know we left some info out, Hopefully customs will be patient and helpful.

It is midnight halfway around the world and I am strolling - laptop bag perched on atop rolling suitcase - through this sprawling airport following signs toward an immigration area that never seems to appear. Slidewalks take you miles (or so it feels) only giving you a choice to switch when you have a option of where to go. I try not to get to too hot. I stop moving on a slidewalk and the great mass of humanity flows around me unfazed. At one option the get off is 'Visa on Arrival' - only two people waiting there. I stay with the mass but my sleepy mind thinks 'Isn't that me? Don't I want a Visa on arrival?' So at the next option I leap off and walk a back. There are two people in line - that doesn't seem right. There is a big sign 'you must from from these countries and the US isn't on the list. Okay this is some other kind of Visa my now sleeping mind thinks and also wonders how long passed the time to take my Xanax it has been? Can't take one now - this tired I'd fall asleep on the spot.

I rejoin the masses back on the slidewalk. A mile or so up another slidewalk dumps another sea of people into ours. Onward we flow toward immigration. Eventually the slidewalk ends and we walk for a while - wall to wall people (it's midnight what are all these people doing here?) creping forward now becoming more and more densely packed. Exactly like is was n busy conventions the heat from the crowd rapidly overcame the air conditioner (that wasn't that great to begin with) and I start to sweat.

Now the walls fan out and I can see about thirty rows for immigration agents. The ones to the far edges appear specialized for long-term and Thai passport. I stay in the line right in front of me. After a little bit I notice the one to my left is a good deal shorter. I move for it - a group of three slide in ahead of me - a stunning Russian teenager slides in behind. As with my luck with grocery store lines I should never have switched. Our line stops moving. Three guys from lines around us start hitting on the Russian, several languages are being spoken. I can only follow the Aussie. Eventually each has to break off as there's line move them up out of conversation range.

And I continue to sweat - my dual hankie is now so soaked as to be useless. I start thinking that my sweating makes me look guilty, which makes me feel guilty, which makes me wonder if this will make me look guilty to the immigration guard. Internet horror stories rise into my consciousness. I am now sure I am long overdo for a Xanax. I do the math in my head - no, brain isn't up to math - I guess about 12 hours overdo. Withdrawal is upon me added to the fact that I am too damn old and sick to be up this long.

"Hours" pass, only the three people that beat me by half a second into this line left ahead of me now, and we can now see how the line branches so that two clerks are handling it. A few minutes later I am beckoned on. The sign reads "hand your papers to the officer and stand in the foot prints. I hand him my immigration form and my passport. And I stand on the foot prints. He asks me a questions. I have no idea what he said. "What?" I ask moving closer. My date of birth isn't on the form. He shows me where it is on my password and shows me where to write it on my form. Seems it would have been a whole lot quicker to write it on the form himself. Next he asks where I staying. Instead of launching into the whole free spirit, have no idea type speak which I might have done if I was less tired and less paranoid, I hand him the hotel confirmation for that night. Again he shows which info to copy from where to my form. He never asks about my exit flight. That is money I could have skipped wasting.

Which each of the segments above I would move back to the foot prints and try to stop sweating. He takes my pictures, staples my form to my passport and points behind him.

Behind him is baggage claim and the exit. I'm free! Where the hell am I suppose to go? There is some confusion as where I have a taxi waiting for me. I have made plans through the internet but then they sent me an email saying I had to make taxi plans directly with the hotel, but wasn't clear whether that was airport to them or them to Pattaya (as airport service was a promoted service (this would become an instantly recurring theme.) So I took the closest exit, stared at every card with a name on it, wondered about the ones in many languages but didn't see my name.

The web had warned of 'hecksters' (I assume of combination of heckler and hustler) that were to be avoided as you went for the official taxis. So I ignored everyone that spoke to me, and looked around for an official taxi stand. As I saw it, a guy offered me 600 baht for a taxi. I said okay and then realized that he wasn't part of the stand. As he talked on the phone I wandered over to the stand. The line was counter intuitive (why have the start furthest from the direction people are arriving from?) but soon I was in it and found my way to the counter and handed my hotel confirmation to the women there, who wrote up a slip and handed it to me and said 300 baht.

I assumed it was because I was tired but was to run into this 'sink or swim" attitude everywhere. You are never given any instruction. As an American I'm used to be taken or forced from point A to point B. Here if you don't know what you are doing you are left to wander around until you eventually bump into the right answer. Asking for help doesn't really help much either. Luckily years of playing role playing video games has prepared me for this.

Eventually after wandering in circles near the cabs with a blank stare on my face someone took the paper from one, tore it in half and handed my half back to me. My suitcase went in the trunk, my laptop case remained glued to my side. I handed him the hotel confirmation and he stared at it for what struck me as a little too long. Then off we went. I wouldn't want his job for anything. Traffic is insane, motorcycles, scooters, carts, trucks, cars all whipping in and around each other. He made it look easy.

My hotel had been described as near the airport. Much like a hotel in Brookline being near Logon airport. We talked with great difficulty and confusion about my going to Pattaya tomorrow and I began to worry as the trip went on that I had agreed to go to Pattaya tonight. Eventually I saw a turn and a sign that said "13 Coins Hotel." It was attached to a real broken down building and I thought "Oh God, what fresh hell have I gotten myself into?" But we kept going and going and going down the road. And at the end the Hotel - or was it a restaurant? I paid the driver - tried to get a card from him but in the end settled for having him pick me up at noon. Hopefully we understood each other.

I carried my bags up the restaurant steps around the Thai teenagers lounging about on the steps and looked around for the lobby. A waiter came up to me, I asked where the lobby was. He said something. I pointed at my bags, tried to mimic a key - and wondered what I'd make of someone making these gestures at me. He pointed over at what looked line where you paid your dinner bill. Over there, I was directed down to the last register where an incredible attractive Thai women asked for my voucher. I handed her the computer printout. She stared at it. Called over someone else. Eventually four on them were talking in rapid Thai until a younger male came by and said something to them at which point my agent finally grasped whatever the confusion was and I was given a key. a bell boy tried to get my suit case and computer bag away from me but I was fully into paranoia now and insisted on carrying them. We went out the front door, down the steps, around a lake, passed - between - around at least four building to my building. My room, 411, was on the second floors. I relinquished the suit case and followed up the stairs. One last corridor and there we were.

All during the walk I had tried to find out when check out was and never got an answer what I felt was an understandable answer. Once in the room he says in very clear English "You have the room for 24 hours." Damn, and I have a taxi coming in 9 hours.

The room is hot. I have the boy turn it on for me. Otherwise it is very nice. The fridge had two large glass bottles of water, one of which he opened for me just after turning on the A/C. I go for a shower right off. Wipe the grime and sweat of two days off me and cool my body down. No electrical sockets in the room. I turn on the bathroom fan for noise. The room is still hot. I take my Xanax and three sleeping pills. There is no information in the room except a menu that completely in Thai. No phonebook, no hotel info, nothing.

With the lights off the room is very dark - big plus. The bed is stiff but not painfully so. I pull all the covers off and lie naked as the room slowly cools down. I wake a few hours later to realize I'm freezing. The room is cool now. I pull a sheet and blanket from the floor and return to sleep. I expect to sleep a long time. If I sleep passed the taxi - well then I'm a jerk but so be it.

Bangkok- 13 Coins Hotel room 411 - View of a dying swamp.

I awake with the sun, around 7:30. Light pours in through a window in the back of the room that looks over a decaying swamp. The only unpleasant view in whole place - and the room would have been so much better off without it. Darker longer at the very least - and who needs to look at a dying swamp?

Somewhere at night my subconscious figures out that the dual phone connectors are the electrical sockets and sure enough my power converter plugs right in. It is only at this point that I realize that my laptop adapter has three prongs - the converter two. I had thought to check this out prior, but I have two laptop transformers and apparently one has two prongs and the other three. So no computer. Fine I'll be in Pattaya later in the day.

I go to the front desk and ask about internet. I am pointed to three computers what I will call the lobby area of the restaurant (from my brief time - 2 days ahead) I will say they the Thais do not segregate like we tend to. A single area may have several functions all at the same time with no boundaries or demarcations. As I sat down at one, a girl sat at one next to me and asked if it was working? She said it hadn't been working earlier. A little testing turned up a good connection but no Internet behind that. That usually means the modem needs to be unplugged and re-powered. Not knowing where the modem is, I try unplugging the router. No luck. The clerks no nothing but bring me someone who repeats the same actions I just went through. I keep trying to find out where the modem is housed.

Eventually we leave it that I will eat breakfast while they find the guy who makes the computer work.

I move a few feet to a dinner table. A few feet further away a young women works out on a treadmill. There is a certain Discordian aspect to this chaos of purpose that I begin to find comforting. A bird is flying around the restaurant. An insect invades my airspace and eventual is killed for the transgression. I'm hungry but my system is also a little thrown by the change in diet and the stress of air flight and lack of sleep. I'm not feeling adventurous. I order 'egg and bacon'. The Internet has me scared of ice and tap water. So warm bottled water for me (I keep thinking of the other cold water bottle back in my fridge but it's far too far for a quick drop back to the room.

When the meal appears, I've been de-stressed by the atmosphere and attitude of the place. Two eggs over medium (I was not asked), a generous portion of meaty bacon and four pieces of white toast. The toast is hard to describe. It is like someone came to America - Saw Wonderbread but had no idea what the recipe was. It's smaller and denser and of course tastier. But definitely white bread. I find this bread everywhere I go so far. The food was very tasty. Just as I had hoped, the food isn't over produced within an inch of its life. It still has taste like the food I remember from my childhood.

The owner, an Ex-pat from somewhere but speaking excellent English comes over and says that if the computer isn't working by the time I'm ready he will personally drive me somewhere he knows for free. He gives me a copy of Bangkok Today (a division of USA Today) and I read a few articles that make rethink how spoiled we are complaining about infringements these people would kill (or die) for. Then again it also makes me thing about how easily those freedoms could slip away so maybe louder complaining is what is called for.

One of the clerks comes over to tell me the computer is working and sure enough it is.

Now I should make it clear because it will come up a lot. Getting on someone else's computer gets me access to GMail. I can read and respond to my email (without the spell checkers and the tons of little programs that help me sound coherent) but I can't update the website, do my finances, or anything else. For that I have to connect MY laptop to the internet. That's called Wi-Fi or Plugin.

But I was finally able to let everyone know I had arrived okay.

Behind me clothing is being sold. A heavy set girl - English speaking - asks the clerk if the pants make her look hippy. "You are fat" the clerks responds. No condemnation in her voice (not that my lack of understanding of their culture and language doesn't mean that tons of scorn could have been hidden in that statement) just plain fact. And just like that my question of whether or not I would hide my illness was answered.

At one of the two tables just outside the door is the owner. He introduces me to Larry, an Ex-Pat from Seattle doing time in Iraq who has become tired of the flight back and for to Seattle so now flies his family closer to him when he has leave. His wife and daughter are arriving in a few hours. He asks me about my plans, and I say I'm going to Pattaya. He assumes I'm going for the girls - tells me stories of before he was married.

I open my mouth to tell him about CDS and traveling before my clock runs out and I get the image of trying to have this conversation with a Thai and out comes the Brain Tumor version. It grew from mental outline to fleshed out structure as I sat back and listened to my own mouth. The last seven years became years of surgery and chemo, but now there was nothing left to do but let nature take its course. Much simpler, easy to understand, same end result and hopefully easy to remember.

The clouds parted soon after and the cool air was replaced by scotching sunshine. I retreated to my room with dreams of A/C and cool water.

When you first enter the room your key, which has a large plastic handle attached goes in a slot by the door. This turns on the lights. I had thought it was a neat feature when I checked in. You always know where your key is. Now I learned the evil truth. Taking it out turns off the the room, including the A/C. An excellent power saving feature similar to that I had run into Swiss Chalet (and one of the reasons I rarely stayed in one again) but horrible when you are expected refuge in a cool room.

I drank the other water, and slowly packed up my stuff. When I was finished I decided that it was cooler outside than in, so I went and checked out and sat on the patio. Ordered a diet-Pepsi. Got a Pepsi. Got it right on the second try. 20 baht. 100 baht = $3.25. Hard to think in, especially as anything handmade is so cheap. Weird that I can buy a pair of pants for 300 baht but two AAA batteries is 1500 baht. I can't tell how much I am spending.

Anyway, I'm working on a few sips of my almost cool diet Pepsi and my taxi driver arrives. Bless him he is a half hour early. There is a bit of confuse on my part because he doesn't look like I remember him, but eventually I am on board.

The Internet had me nervous about being ripped off by taxi drivers. Mr. Aranuk was not only a really great driver but very honest. Like most of the Thai I have met so far we couldn't understand each other enough to have a conversation, but I took a liking to this man. 1300 baht to Pattaya, exactly the going rate. Watching him dart in and out of traffic, inventing new lanes when necessary was like an art form. The odometer hovered between 160 and 190 most of the times I noticed it. I assume that's kph but that is still fast.

And almost exactly when predicted we arrived at my hotel.

Sawasadee Sea View is the name. There are a lot of Sawasdee this and that hotels. I don't know if it is a chain or famous landmark type thing. Check out is less confusing than at 13 Coins but my happiness stops there.

Well not quite, the room is a little more upscale. Same key handle turns the room on and off dongle - I fear that might be standard.

The power sockets look like they could work with either the Thai plugs or American. I call down stairs about it - I can't get them to understand what I am asking, then the clerk just hangs up on me. Zero information in the room - about anything except the price of the items in the frdige. Eventually I decide which electrical item I can live without easiest and plug it in and jump back. It doesn't blow up. I take that as a good test. I charge the iPod. I power up the laptop. No Wi-Fi in the room.

I call downstairs, Wi-Fi is in the lobby. I go down and see three computers but no empty tables to set up a laptop. I ask the desk, the clerk points to the computers. No 'Wi-Fi' I say, pointing to the sign declaring the rates for Wi-Fi. She again points to the computers. I point to my laptop and to the sign where under Wi-Fi it actually spells out 'Wireless Internet.' So they have one sign and it is wrong (tomorrow I would go to buy one of the cards to use the computer only to learn that of the four choices they only actually sell the most expensive one.)

I ask where I would go to get REAL Wi-Fi (remembering to keep smiling and keep my tone pleasant - getting upset here works against you 100%) She points down the street. I wonder how far don't bother trying to find out. It's Saturday, I have to do the finances. I walk down the street and sure enough at the next corner is an Internet cafe. Have I mentioned it's HOT and HUMID? But it comes in waves. One second its cool with a strong breeze and suddenly its blazing hot and humid. The cafe is the only enclosed air-conditioned building I've seen since being here. Everything is open air.

They aren't Wi-Fi either, but the man in charge understands what I'm saying and is willing to let me plug in in place of his computer. I'll just briefly mention that the humidity played havoc with the fingerprint sensor or my finger tips or both but the first hour was spent trying to get into my computer. Once finally running it ran very slowly but I was able to update the website and do all my finances but Chase whose fraud detection was working overtime to get in my way. I've been back to the cafe 3 times now and I still can't figure out the pricing structure but it isn't too expensive regardless.

After returning the laptop to the room, I went down the street to the market - a bizarre of sorts - to get some clothes to wear tomorrow. The other edges have the location and the prices are higher. Inside is cheaper but oh so humid. First thing I bought was a hand towel (both hotels have had two bath towels only) to wipe sweat with. In the end I bought 4 AA batteries for the camera - couldn't find AAA for the headset. Three shirts - all marked XXXL which didn't fit. A robe, which is much heavier than I though - perfect if the A/C has been on for a while and a pair of shorts with many pockets that fit perfectly.

Bad shot of the Balcony. Nice balcony - never used it.

Dropping it all back at my now hot again room. I try to fit into my new shirts and end up going with my last clean shirt. Sadly, my odd sleeveless shirts would have been perfect as I have seen lots of people wearing them.

There are massage parlors everywhere. Now back in the States it is easy to tell legit massage from the other. Illegit massage will have an Asian name or image. Well that obviously doesn't work here. But it seems those that have signs for massage are legit. The other, that I'm guessing is more tolerated than legal (like pot in Maine when I was in college) is contained within beer bars, the blaring music alone prevents my wandering near even if I got curious.

Anyway, after passing by about 40 massage parlors, I start thinking that a massage sounds pretty damn good after the stress of the last few weeks, And I pick the one just before the hotel. Two hours for 1300 baht. Can't beat that (well I probably can and certainly will try.) She spent a long time on my legs which she did a great job on but then hurried through the rest which really needed as much if not more attention. Still definitely worth the money.

It was now after dark and began to wonder why I wasn't hungry. I figured I should eat. Looked at the hotel menu. Asked if they did room service. Couldn't get the concept across. Ordered spicy tuna (envisioning the Japanese version there of). She said something, which I assumed was a warning that it was raw - in retrospect it was a warning that it was spicy. You'd expect that in something called Spicy Tuna. That warning was well deserved. It was great - not raw - more like tuna fish from a can but fresher, on lettuce with some kind of death berry mixed in and sprinkled with lemon juice. I loved it, but it was also burning my mouth off. I ordered a Sprite completely forgetting the sugar factor and decided that the Asia version of Montezuma's revenge was going to get me eventually, I might as well get it over with and the weight loss would help me dealing the heat (I'm so thankful for the years in Florida partially thinning my blood - I'd have been in hell if I'd gone straight from the North to here.) so I ordered it with ice.

Eventually I realized this was going to take a while to eat and so told the waitress I was going to take it back to me room. Nobody made any move toward packing so I paid and took the plate back to my room.

I remember setting up the computer on the bed.

I remember watching TV.

I remember finishing my meal and then eating half the honor bar.

I don't remember falling asleep or even deciding to go to sleep.

But then it was morning.

My blood sugar level is 144.

I took a shower - good pressure compared to 13 Coins - sucks compared to home. The nozzle can't be moved but given the design of the tub/shower/room that is probably a good thing.

Today is about contacting Sunny and looking at the monthly room he is offering. As I exit the elevator and walk down the ramp into the pre-lobby tables and chairs have appeared and some food is laid out. There is also a girl cooking omelets and scrambled eggs. Still not up to being adventurous, I go for the scramble eggs - which they make with peppers, onions and carrots (I thought it was cheese when it was in the bowl,) I grabbed what I hoped was and turned out to be potatoes and onions, and the same bread as yesterday. That plus water and orange juice in thimble glasses. I assume it was free, nobody asked me for money or talked to me while I was eating.

Straight from there, sweat rag in hand, I headed down to the Internet cafe (which does not serve coffee or any food item by the way) and this used their computer. Looked at my email, no response from Sunny (I had written him in both Bangkok and Pattaya yesterday.) Reduced to having to use the phone I retreated again to the room. I called the front desk to ask how to call out. You can't dial out. You have to go to the lobby and pay to use their phone.

So I'm in the middle of chaos central, people checking in - checking out, ordering breakfast, hailing cabs, girls across the street hooting at every man walking buy (hawking massage, by who knows what the hell they are saying) trying to understand what the person on the end of the phone is saying. Luckily Sunny speaks very good English. Turns our he's up in Bangkok, but Smorm (he spelled it for me, but later I would hear clearly pronounced as Simone) could show me the place. I already have a map that I had printed out back in the US - thankfully or that would have been another trip to the Internet uncafe. And he gives me directions on what to do from there.

120 baht for the - I assume local - phone call. I pay and walk over to the limo/cab desk in the lobby (near the computers). 'I'd like a cab.' Blank stare. Then i remember for the umpteenth time - call them taxis they don't know from cab - perfectly understandable. 'I'd like a taxi.'

'No airport, I want to here,' handing her the printed map.

She stares it exactly like I stare at the ones in just Thai. "Oooooh" The long drown out 'Oh' never ends well. "Went do you want it."

"Now, or as soon as possible."

'Sorry, none available.'

So, a wireless internet that isn't wireless, phones in each room that call only the front desk, and a taxi service that only goes to the airports, 'Loving' this place more and more.

I walk to the corner of Soi 10 and whatever the beach front road is called. A real taxi is passing just as I get there, but before I rundown how to hail one, whether he is occupied and the like - he's gone. I wait for a bit - two of the buggy bus things stop. I seem to be standing where they stop so I move across 10. And there an empty buggy bus sits. I show the drive the map. Again the blank stare. After a bit he calls Sunny's number, and they talk in that chipped language for a long time. (It looks real simple on the map to ignorant old me.

He hangs up and says "300 baht" which I understand on the fourth try when he holds up three fingers. I'm good to go, just want to get there. As I say on the map it looks simple - we are here, it's a straight line and a turn to there (with a slight jag to get around walking street.) He immediately leaves beach road - glad it wasn't a metered ~~cab~~ taxi I'd have assumed I was getting ripped off.

Drive in Thailand - wheel on the other side of the car - and driving on the other side of the road. As far as I can determine no one has the right of way. There are ever mode of conveyance you can imagine and some you can't. There are no lights, stop or yield signs. They use a kind of Morse code with the horn. Near as I've decoded it: one short beep - I exist, beware. Two short beeps: We both can't exist in the same space. Three short beeps: you are really pissing me off. One short and one long beep: I have every intension of driving through you if you try that. And constant full and/or partial lane changes are a must. It is perfectly acceptable to all parties if your vehicles comes within 1 inch of a pedestrian. I have yet to see a police car.

At one point the driver pulls over and calls someone for further assistance. And off we go again. Obviously my scale is way off. Jomtien must be 15 to 20 minutes away. I thought about 3. We finally reach the turn. We can't find the place - we know mostly that it is halfway up this road. We travel the middle section twice. We show a gate guard the map. He has no clue. The driver calls Sunny again. He looks at landmarks, talks, pauses and repeats the process. Now he feels good and in a few minutes we reach the correct gate guard. I try to follow my instructions, but apparently Sunny has given them to the driver in Thai. I am shushed and we proceed. It is quite a drive from the gate to the office. The driver gets out and makes sure which door is the right office. i was already going to give him a tip for his troubles but that cinched it and I gave him 500 baht.

Smorm spoke as much English as the next Thai, but Sunny had called ahead. She showed me the room that was up a flight a stairs and around back of the building. The room has slightly musty but the air-conditioned might take of that. It was bit run down but not unlivable and the price was right and for 500 baht extra I could get in room unlimited secure internet.

Then it started to go wrong. They don't take charge cards. Despite what the internet said, I haven't used my cards since I got here. And the cash won't last forever. Still at about $600 that wasn't impossible. Then I asked for then to call a taxi. They couldn't call a taxi but they could call a motorcycle cab.

With a helmet that didn't fit my big head perched on top, and after being shown wear to put my feet, we are off - zipping along beach street. I'm using my oddly viselike thighs as stabilizers. At least I'm dry. We come within inches of people and hard objects. I start to feel dizzy from all the beeping with is much louder outside of enclosed car. We reach what assume is Walking Street and I signal for me to get off. I'll walk this and grab a real taxi on the other side.

At the start they have stores and I think hydration and food is a great idea. In a convenience store, I buy a water and a Pattaya Today. a little further down I duck onto the porch of a quiet establishment. I order a tomato shake. I've been oddly taken with tomatoes lately. Have find a way to replace my electrolytes with the near around the massive sweating - no sure those two thoughts are connected. The tomato shake is surprisingly good mildly sweet. I sip it, read my Pattaya today, and contemplate whether I want to live somewhere that I need to take a motorcab everywhere I want to go. I order a salmon on toast thinking lox and bagel) but they are out so will never now. So I order a club sandwich (no description). I continue to read hoping to find exactly what I want. The club sandwich is exactly like one back home except it's the here bread and everything has more flavor. Still not coming to a conclusion I order an Ice Coffee. Cream and Sugar already added. Don't care - it's cold and good and caffeinated. I finish the paper.

I continue the walk, walking street (which I now don't think this was) does on forever. Beach - lots of people getting massages and walls on the other. The stores are gone. In large parts the shade is gone. After a long walk (I've gotten a shit load of exercise since I got here) I get an opportunity to turn away from the beach and hopefully back toward beach street.

The shade is completely gone, construction is everywhere, no stores and I'm beginning to seriously worry about sunburn. A hotel, with a sofa out in the car area. I sit, catching my breath and mind. Nobody bothers me. Eventually I approach the front desk and ask what the rooms cost. They show me pictures of the room. "Cost - price" I repeat. I can't remember the amount but it wasn't terribly out of range for one day. When did I want it? Tomorrow. Sorry sold out.

Can you call me a cab. Taxi - I mean taxi. Confusion - probably more mine then there's - and I realize I have to pay them. 180 baht. I wait outside and an air-conditioned car arrives. Heaven. And the driver knows where he is going. So glad I didn't try to press on. What the maps don't show you is that there is a mountain (hill to Tracy) between Pattaya and Jomtein.

Back at the hotel I reread the paper. I got nothing.

I stall by typing up yesterday here on the blog while my body cools down. The sun goes down. It will be cooler outside.

And I need clothes for tomorrow, So I try to refind the market and eventually do. This time I try things on, sweat and all. Find a nice sleeveless shirt, some silk underwear and socks. Dirt cheap. Maybe I'll keep buying my clothes one day at a time until I have enough to do laundry. I leave the market and start staring at the massage places looking for scalp or facial. I find a place marketing places for sale and rent and it has pictures posted in teh windows and it takes credit cards! It's closed off course but I jot down the rough address. Can I got to it, find a place and still check out on time? Doubtful, they don't open until nine and check out is 11. Can I check out, store my bags with the property place while we look around? That means slogging my stuff several streets away and leaving them with strangers. Maybe not the best plan, Shall I extend my stay here a night. I hate to give them more money, especially as it will be more than computer rate. Still it's the least stress method and assuming they aren't full or try to rip me in some way that's the way I will go.

I found my facial massage which was more facial and less massage, but my skin feels great and she worked on my neck and shoulders and actually helped them. Only 300 baht - one hour that seemed like two - in a good way. Wish I could find the place again - I'd give them more business. Wandered some more - didn't want to go down Soi 10 from this end. Soi 9 was completely dark so took the next turn. All beer bars - massive noise. Must have continued on autopilot. Came around in a quite bar (the Elephant and Castle) with a beer in one hand and very hot Thai at the other. Don't know if it was that kind of place but I talked inanely long enough for her to get board and wander off. Apparently I had had two beers. I paid and tipped her 20 baht in case I had wasted her time.

I struggled through the rest of Soi 9 and came back down Soi 10 - purchased a large water and large bag of cashews (to avoid the minibar charges) and was charged 62 baht. That still doesn't seem right. Cashews must be expensive. Back at the room I ate the nuts, took my meds and wrote this while the room cooled down.

Unfortunately it is 5am.

I try to fight against getting up, but the bed is firm and my body sore. I get up and do an inventory. My arms are red but aren't burnt. Head and face, likewise. Looks like I got out of the sun just in time. The facial did wonders, all the dead skin around my nose is gone and looks alive and healthy. My feet however are killing me. Foot massage is in crawling distance. I consider it. Instead I study the tub. Standard with an odd twist - a circular area where your feet go. If it went a little higher up I might think it was so you could cross your legs to get them more easily under water. Asians are mostly smaller, that is possible. More likely I think it for someone else to sit down there will you bathe. Anyway, it looks like a tight fit but not as much so as most American hotel tubs which are just out of the question for me.

Both places I've stayed and the place I looked at yesterday have all had tankless water heaters. Energy consciousness is seen in everything here.

I stay in the tub for a little while soaping my feet. Massage is sounding better and better. I'll wait until 7, see about extended the room for a night (I expect to get it but be gouged on the price, but today convenience is king. 7:30 the breakfast begins after which I will try to find the Property Management place I found last night.

Wish me luck on many fronts.

It starts well. I extend the room successfully and easily. When converted the price only jumps from $42 to $53.33. It takes less time than expected but I remembered the starting time of breakfast - it is really seven - so that works out fine. Same breakfast as yesterday, except I find the butter and try some small sweet sliced sausage link like things. Tasty but very greasy. I'm on the streets by 7:40.

My tight socks which had initially worked like little tourniquets stopping the pain, ceased their magic under the strain of more walking. I discovered - to my surprise (damn assumptions) - that the massage places were not 24 hour and on closer inspection pretty much the whole town starts its day at 10am. I wander slowly until I locate the property place. The owner is there even though it is early. He talks to me a bit and then informs me that he opens at 10 and to come back then. Happy that we seem to be able to work something out I head back to the street and then look for somewhere to kill time.

Back on the front steps of 13 Coins in what feels like a life time ago, Larry said to me "Time moves slowly in Thailand." I have already found this to be true on many levels. Some good, some great, killing time is not one of those.

I remember someone in the lobby telling there was a 24 hour McDonalds with free internet on Soi 14 and that you could sit there all day without them bothering you. I didn't have the laptop with me, but not having seen the McDonalds also meant I hadn't explored 2nd street much in that direction. So off I hobbled. around this time the sun turned on. It is weird how it can go from cool and perfect to hot and humid with no visible change in the clouds. Oh one thing I haven't mentioned (I know looking at the above that that is hard to believe) is that I am constantly tripping (thankfully I haven't fallen yet) - none of the walking surfaces are flat, there are lips and dips placed randomly - all this while dodging, well everything. This really sucks when your feet hurt.

Anyway, no way I could have missed McDonalds (McCafe it says in huge letters next to the giant Ronald statue). Whether I could have sat unbothered or not, how can you go to a foreign Mickey D's and not check it out? I order an egg bacon on a bun thing with hash browns and ice coffee. The hash brown is while looking like a MD's hash brown tasted more like an Arby's potato cake. That's a good thing. The egg thing was disappointing and utterly alien. The coffee was cooling but heavily sugared. Two breakfasts did not sit well in my confused and overheated body.

One man is using a laptop, he looks German. I start a conversation by asking about the quality of the connection. He has lived in Thailand for twelve years, leaves when it gets hot. And proceeds to tell me all the horrible health things that have happened to him in Thailand. My hope is that most did not happen to him here in Pattaya. We talk for a long time. When he leaves I look at my watch: 8:23. "Time moves slowly in Thailand."

I lean against the wall in a very comfortable chair. I drink from my omnipresent bottle water (I brought the Cruise carrier to Thailand - best thing I did) and am feeling a little dizzy and shaky. I just stare blankly out into the room until the feeling passes. At 9:20 I decide to walk slowly back to the Real Estate agent. But a block up I discover one industrious massage place opens at 9am. They get my business. 1 hour foot massage; 200 baht ($6.50). It hurts a bit when she pushes where the calluses are trying to grow, but the oils are helpful there I'm guessing. Anyway I'm out of the heat with a wonderful fan over my head. Even massage hours move slowly. Feels like I'm there for 3 hours, but in the end almost an hour to the minute.

My feet hurt a little less (only time is going to heal them) as I walk back toward Soi 7. The distance from Soi 10 (where my hotel is) and Soi 9 is lengthy - then the all come closer together. At Soi I see the other Real Estate place that offers "makes it easy" but I had passed up because they didn't have credit card logos. I go in. They don't take credit cards but maybe the property they want to show me does. He drives me over to the place (ah, air conditioning in the car) - looks nice - things I can walk to. I remind him about the credit cards. He asks and no they don't. For this to work out right I have to put the big expenses on the cards. He drives me back.

I walk the block to the original place. He has three properties in my price range - all too far from everything and none with Internet. He is trying to explain internet through cell phone to me. It's not happening. I look at my clock - even I'm stunned to see it is only 11:02. Okay, I need a plan. I also need more water (Third bottle of the day. Water may indeed be my biggest expense.) About this time it reaches my consciousness that I have been pulling up my pants all morning. I try to tighten my belt and realize I'm on the last notch. How much water have I lost? Is some of it fat, the heat has dented my appetite a lot and it helps that the portions of everything is much saner than in the US (oh - have to remember to say 'America' - the Thais don't understand US, USA or United States. And after all the work Tracy put in to get me to stop saying America.)

I'm right in front of the market ('Made in Thailand Night Market' is the bizarres official title) and right there is a stand of belts. Elephant hide the sign says. I grab a 48. Not even close. 56 works out right. The sizes are different here, but close enough to be confusing. I'm looking at the fact that the belt has 6 holes and I'm wondering how much weight I'm likely to lose. She thinks I'm haggling I guess and the price halves while I'm trying to think out the situation. Well that certainly makes it a no-brainer.

Bach to the hotel to dry off and strategize. I know more about Pattaya now. I decide to go down to the cafeless computer cafe and see what I can shake up online.

After some trial and error I find the All Seasons Pattaya Hotel. It has all the amenities I want. It says it is near things. But near is a relative term in Pattaya, as are outright lies. Who am I to judge? I'm using the Brain Tumor story like it is total fact - which I run the risk of confusing myself into believe myself sometime. So I book only one week, just in case. I can gook more later if everything checks out. works out to $352 but as I am not throwing away part of a week - to get a monthly rate - I only need three weeks, so it is only the tiniest bit more than I wanted. Only problem is, I can't get a fix on the address. I mean I have the address - but Google Maps is useless because it insists on switching to Thai language when in Thailand. And the address is a Moo instead of a Soi. I had assumed Soi meant Road. What's a Moo? Where are the blocks of Moos? Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

The only time time doesn't move slowly is at an Internet Cafe.

Across from the cafe is the Pharmacy (did I mention no prescription needed for Xanax?) and I tried to figure out how to hand gesture 'electrolytes.' Turned out to be as simple as saying it (thankfully as I had no real backup plan.) A packet about the size of a cocoa packet: 6 baht. I take 5 and some vitamin C tablets. Next building up is the minimart and I get some water. Back to the room. I carefully pour a little water from one bottle to an empty and mix in one of the packets. The taste is strong, next time I'll use more water - but I feel almost instantly better. Guess what? It's 12:58! My work for the day is done, time for pampering.

I've been wanting to try oil massage. I've been cycling through the various types. Straight bang across from the hotel - oil massage two hours 400 bath. mentally I go the math - about $13 dollars? Oh hell yeah. The girl is short, cute and bubbly. Almost exactly what I pictured when listening to Spalding Gray describing Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand in Swimming to Cambodia - which is what I thing originally put the idea of traveling in my mind (although that would have been on the cruise and it seems like I've been thinking of this much longer than that.) Two, which seems like four - hours of heaven. Her grasp of English is better than most. She jokes and giggles constantly. Her name is either Jip or Jib. After I am showered to remove the oil, I am dressed and my room key falls out of my pocket (damn huge dongle) and she jokes about coming over later. But is a joke a joke here? They laugh when they say everything. Not sure how I feel about that either way. Guess the devil is in the details. This too I'll find out later.

Back at the hotel my blood sugar is 298! I've really got to watch the sugar drinks. I take an extra injection of Lantus. Booting up the computer I find a weak but connectable Internet signal bouncing from somewhere. I upload the Journal. Then go to StumbleUpon. Lots of mail. I get one answered before I lose the signal.

I then spend 3 hours writing this portion of the day. The wrong words keep coming out of my fingers, typing is slow, lots of corrections and I had a lot to say. But the room got deliciously cold while I typed. It's almost six and I should go in search of food or pack but I'm happy here for the moment in the cool. Noticed that the room key activates the room if the key gets anywhere near the receptacle. I wonder if a simple magnet would keep the air on?

Earlier today when the second attempt at finding a place fell though, I felt a bit lost and for the first time: alone. I understood the second layer to my sister stressing that if I needed to come home she'd make it happen. At the time, I felt annoyed, it's hard to explain why I feel exactly anything I feel. Now I got the comfort of the safety net, and I felt a little less lost and was able to regroup. So, sorry for being annoyed Sis.

I've been watching Thai TV and playing Spider Solitaire absent-mindedly while soaking in the full bone chilling effect of the air-conditioner when it has been allowed to build up steam. From the TV I pick up what several Thai have said to me but it hasn't clicked until now. The city is not pronounced Pa-Tay-Ah as I have been saying but Patty-aah.

My blood sugar is down to 162. I take another shot and my pills.

Now I have to get something to eat. The sun is down but my stomach is giving me mixed messages. I wander around Soi 10 and up 2nd Street. Several things look okay but nothing moves me to sit down and order. I again pass Soi 9, it looks totally dark and a prefect place to get mugged. Soi 8 is the loud beer bars again, but my feet more than the music hurts my head - I go that way.

Passed the loudest of the bars I see a nice looking eatery - and the posted menu says Pad Thai with Shrimp: 80 baht. I walk up the steps. Only one table available that I can see. It has only one chair. A match is made ;) I order Pad Thai with Shrimp. She has no idea what I'm saying. I point across the walkway at the sign saying 'Pad Thai with Shrimp.' Nothing. I look for it in the menu and find Flat Noodle Thai Style with Shrimp - should be the same thing. I point at that and hold my finger there until she gives up and understands me.

It was worth the walk and the struggle to order. So, so flavorful. I recognize it as the Pad Thai from home but in a distant relative kind of way. It is so tasty, and has so many fresh vegetables. Heaven. Afterward I have almost as much trouble get the waitress to understand 'check' as I did ordering.

I complete the square back to my room forgetting to buy more water.

It's not quite 8pm (have I mentioned time moves slowly in Thailand?) and I decide to watch TV until I'm dry enough to touch anything and then I go to bed and almost instantly to sleep.

It's very unusual that I awaken and can go back to sleep if it's morning. But I drifted in and out of sleep several times this morning having an assortment of dreams ranging from the fun to the bizarre. I won't bore you with them because dreams are only interesting to those that dream them and these blog entries are getting long enough.

Suddenly my eyes pop open. I haven't packed; I can't afford the luxury of sleeping late. I look at my clock - I have my own - neither this room nor the one before it have had one - it's only 7:15, I can take my time. I forget the cool down phase of my shower which is mistake I pay for in sweat for I have decided to pack while I dry and then go down to breakfast. But as I hustle around the hotel room looking for everything I'm expending energy which quickly overcomes the air conditioning and buckets of sweat are flying everywhere.

At first it seems like I have everything under control. I get things packed, find a better way to secure the laptop case to the rolling case and then shove all my dirty clothes in the shopping bags from the things I've bought at the market. Then I find more stuff. I wedge it into the case. Then I find more dirty clothes. One shopping bag explodes under the stress. I decide to steal a pillow case. All packed, not an inch to spare. Then I find the hanging shirts and robe I bought at the market. Clearly this is not going to work.

I go down and have breakfast. Pretty much the same - minus sausage - plus watermelon and pineapple. Then I go up to the room to de-sweat and wait for the market to open. I watch teh second half of an American film I've seen the commercials to but didn't know was Sci-Fi. At 9:15 I head up to the market and look at suitcases. Most places are still working on placing out their wares and so I stay to the outer edge looking for price signs, most of with aren't out yet. Almost at the end one lady is well set up. The case in front of me says 2150 baht. It's a good size, but ideally what I'd like was a better laptop case, but I don't have either the time or the dimensions to deal with that now.

I show interest in the one behind it. It is a little smaller, closer to my immediate needs. "650 baht," she says. "600?," I ask trying to engrain the habit. Done.

I scurry back to the hotel, passing Jib (who I guess was kidding yesterday or a better prospect came along. I think I'm both relieved and sad about that.) who practically swings me into a wall trying to get my attention. We hug, I continue on my way.

In the hotel I dump the dirty clothes in the new suit case (they get their pillow case back) and shove the laptop case next to it and put the shirts and robe on top. Room to spare.

Down stairs, I check out. I get about 80% of my deposit back (minibar) and show the taxi arranger the address of where I want to go. 180 baht. That is a very good sign - the hotel is probably not that far from here.

While I'm sitting in the lobby waiting, the clerk gets my attention. They have forgotten a minibar charge. It is about half of what they have already charged me so I am curious what this is for. They have the total on the computer but can't find the slip. The amount seems high to me - I try to think of what I might have eaten or drank. He is still digging through piles for the missing receipt when my taxi arrives, and I plunk down 100 baht - which is about half what he asked for, and walked to the taxi. He did nothing to stop me. Not sure who took who there.

The drive is short. I'm at most three miles from where I was - possibly much closer. But I'm not sure where. But that is for tomorrow. Today is about letting my feet heal and getting reacquainted with me good friend internet.

The driveway is gated, the exterior pleasant - the lobby both air-conditioned! and segregated. I'm starting to get used to the mix-mash of features and services at most locations, but it is also so nice for this little touch of home.

Check in is a breeze - they find my info - photo my passport - and understand what I am saying and vice-versa. The only hitch is that I can't check in to my room for another 2 and half hours. Not a problem - this place is air-conditioned and somehow dehumidified. I'm to happy to explore this place. I ask about the internet. This time the exact opposite of the last place. That one advertised wi-fi but had wired, this placed promoted both (online) but only had wi-fi. Of the two I'd prefer this. I get to surf, possibly make phone calls, answer emails and of course post to the blog. I'll only have to shlep down to the internet cafe once a week to do the finances (limiting my odds of being hacked - it is impossible to protect yourself on unsecured Wi-Fi.) It isn't free but one of the options is '7 Days unlimited - 1800 baht.' To have the other half of my brain and all my friends and family back - is it even a question?

The clerk takes my luggage and leaves it at the end of the bar. As my nest egg is in there I am reluctant to leave it behind but also happy to be free of it. I compromise with myself and ask him to move it to a more secure spot. He understands and does so.

I glance at the restaurant but remember that I ate not too long ago and how I felt after two breakfasts yesterday. There is a pool and massage on the 3rd floor. The elevator reveals that this building has 18 floors. The pool is the neatest design. I don't have the words so I will get a picture or two. But it is completely in the sun so I doubt I will use it unless it is open at night. The layout is enclosed massage area, pool, bar in sort of a clover. The massage area is empty. I go in, look in the nocks and crannies - no one. I ask at the bar. They say they will find more me, go in and sit down.

I find a price list. About 4 times what you'd pay on the street - just like a hotel massage in the States but to scale. Scalp massage is only 850 (30% off for hotel guests) for an hour.

The bar clerk keeps coming by to apologize for the delay - I keep explaining I'm killing time and so don't mind at all. Eventually she is located. They won't have any coconut oil until noon - apparently an important part of the scalp massage. Eventually I get across that I'm happy with the massage without the oil. I think of the prices of the other massages (3000+ range) and worry that I've pushed myself in that direction - especially when she works on my feet, legs, back, arms, neck (no one has ever done so much with my neck) and of course scalp. At the end of the hour: 850 - 30%. While I will get some cheaper work on the street she will get more of business as well - you get what you pay for and that was a superior massage. For the first time in weeks my right arm does not hurt.

Back down in the lobby I grab a newspaper and sit on one of several comfortable couches and read it. My eyes are working well today. Two Japanese looking teenagers are sitting on another couch, I assume waiting for a taxi.

Eventually, I decide after noon is a safe time for lunch. The heat has mostly had me skipping lunch (not good for the blood sugar oddly) but it is air-conditioned here (have I mentioned that?) The place is empty but elegant (picture coming soon) and I'm not sure it is open. But as soon as I enter a young girl comes over and motions for me to sit where I like.

The chair makes a awful noise against the floor that is unavoidable during adjusting. The menu has pictures and descriptions in perfect English. Chinese dumplings (turns out to be more like Sui Mai) and Lobster with Mangoes. I am given silverware and chopsticks. I use the chopsticks even though it is almost impossible with the small mango wedges, to prolong the experience as long as possible. I also have two cups of ice coffee with no sugar or milk. They bring two small pictures - one with milk - the other with what I assume is a clear liquid sugar. Even black the coffee is perfect - and I usually don't like the taste of coffee. The Sui mai comes with two sauces and tastes incredible. The lobster and mango have a wonderful chemistry together and everything was so fresh.

The second I step back into the lobby the bell man tells me my room ready and my bags are already there. We ride the elevator (which I think he called for when he saw me stand up from the lunch table) up to my room: 15th floor.

I love my room. I'm home. I'm in the room less than 5 minutes when there is a knock - a clerk has my water bottle and sling which I forgot in the restaurant. I've been so careful about keeping that attached to me. I made it more important to myself by keeping $300US in the otherwise empty passport compartment. It is still there. I thank the man and give him 10 baht. I like it here.

While it has the same key activates the room system, the key is a sensible credit card size. And the room isn't outdoor temp before the air kicks in. It is slightly bigger in size, and while the bathroom is smaller the tub looks bigger. The room has a safe - my valuables are finally secure. I savor unpacking. Putting everything where it is going to go. One way or other I'm here for 3 weeks. Longer if there is anyway I can finagle it.

Once everything is unpacked I set up the computer, cross my fingers and try to access the internet. It is straight forward and I'm on. I finish up what I started yesterday on Stumbles, then check Gmail. if any of you haven't gotten a reply then please write again, because I think I got everyone, put having connect problems earlier may make some things look responded to that weren't. After that I download the camera into the computer and size up the few pictures I've taken. And I've been typing here ever sense.

Okay, this really doesn't deserve a separator line, I've only been gone a few minutes. I've looked over the hotel information. First of all - there IS hotel information. Lots of it. These people are pushing their products and services - it's down right American. The pool is closed from 7:30pm to 7:30am - the hours that I would enjoy it - but I all but expected that. Reasonably priced in-room massage - didn't see that coming. That could become a budget buster if I don't show some restraint. Although it helps that I can charge it.

Oh that's why I came back here. I went looking for a link so you could look at the hotel and found what I was unable to yesterday; a map of where this place is. Inches from Soi 5 and 2nd Road. I walked from Soi 10 to Soi 7 everyday on 2nd. I'm close to the area I already know! This just keeps getting better and better.

Click the map for a look at the hotel.

It's 6pm, another hour I can try calling my mother - it'll be 7am then there.

Oops, I take that back - looking at the map I got from the Real Estate guy, the gap between Soi 7 and Soi 5 (there are two Soi 6s just make things worse) is about four times longer than Soi 10 to Soi 7. Still an easy Bungy Ride away, but more than likely only walking distance one way, if that. Wish I had a scanner to share a few papers (like this map.) Hmmm, maybe I'll try photographing them. But not now, now I surf the web and order from the 24 hour room service.

The feet are healing nicely :)

Last night I ordered French Onion soup which was unlike anything ever called French Onion in North Eastern America. It did have lots of Onions, but it was tomato based and had no cheese. It was quite good, but I had built up a hankering for French Onion Soup. I also order a Hawaiian Pizza (Pizza Hawaii) which my stomach let's me eat half of.

I went to bed early again, so when I woke up at 3:15 didn't feel too bad about it. But my stomach was upset. Almost Diarrhea but without the urgency. So I lounged around the room and decided I would stay in today. I read and finished my book "Empire" by Orson Scott Card. The afterword is the best part of the book. That should be read by everyone - the book itself is a set up for a video game and fun but light fare..

As it was now 5:30am, I decided to try sleeping again and drifted in and out until around 11. I eat some of the remaining pizza. Still tasty at - slightly cold - room temperature.

Weird, I've got the iPod on random in the background and I'm looking for a quote from "Empire"'s afterward on the net so that I don't have to type it in and Guns'n'roses "Civil War' comes on the iPod. "Empire" is about Civil War, and I'm reading all these Civil War debates on the internet at the same time. Just strange synchronicity.

By twelve I can't stay in any more (a very strange feeling for me) - my stomach is still a bit upset so it isn't food driving me out, just a feeling I should be exploring.

First thing out the door I see a row of laundry mats. Pricing here is like a hotel - by the price. I can't get a grasp of what it will cost. Currently I continue to buy clothes as needed. But soon I should get some cleaned. I guess since there is no minimum, I could get them cleaned as needed. But for now I just mentally (ha) mark the location.

I find where I can get water and I'm on my way. I want to learn the connections between the area I know and the area I am now in, as well as see what this area has to offer. It is only a few minutes in and realize I am completely lost. Oh and the sun is on death beam again. I realize i should have stayed in today. But I press on. I grab a 'Somgthaew' (often called Bungies) - they are covered but open air pickup trucks that are everywhere on the main north-south roads. Turns out I'm both on the wrong road and going in the wrong direction. He has three other customers who all get dropped off first then he circles round to beach street to head to Soi 10. He charges 100 baht - which is outrageous, should be at most 30, but I'm happy to be back on track and in known stomping grounds. Why bicker about $3? On the other hand a case can be made for not encouraging dishonesty. But I didn't make that case.

Laundry here is priced by the piece - like at a hotel. Except at the hotel it is cheaper to buy new clothes each day at the market then have them cleaned. So am checking out the laundry places trying to get some kind of fix on the cost of cleaning. It is not much passed noon so the sun is straight overhead and there are is no shade. And it's brutal. I suddenly think that my first idea of staying in and removing myself from the chaos all day was a good one. I'm walking up Soi 10 toward the old hotel mostly out of reflex and partly thinking of that nice air-conditioned Internet cafe about a block away. Mentally I'm adrift trying to figure out how to kill time until the mid-afternoon cool down drifts through and I can slink back to the hotel. Back home killing time was either going to a theater or more often eating. But I also had a car. Here I have more choices: still food of course, but the heat often robs my appetite. Massage - an option back home but too expensive to indulge in often and needs to planned ahead. Here it is dirt cheap and you have to actively resist to not get escorted into one. And then there is the Internet cafe, which I don't need any more technically.

The decision is made for me thankfully when suddenly I have a bubbly Jib strapped to my side: massage it is. She remembers my name - that impresses me. I remembered hers - that surprises me. Jib is young and not terribly skilled yet but her inexperience also brings an air of - how to say - that it isn't just another sequence of motions - there is still a newness there - an illusion of connection. two hours slowly and tactilely passes. Afterward while I am seated in chair putting on my shoes (you have to take your shoes off every place you go - it's a real pain. Very glad I went with the loafers and not the sneakers.) a talkative German man is arranging to have one of the girls come over to his hotel. He is going over and over the details to make sure he is understood. I did not think that sort of thing happened in this type of massage place - I thought it was just the beer bars. Live and learn.

Am I at a place were I am willing to pay someone not to have sex with me? I run the idea through my brain. The pros and cons list is remarkably short on both sides, and I decide there is only one to find out. When Jib comes up front to get paid I arrange for here to come by after work. I can not get an answer to the question of cost, but the Internet has given me the idea that 2000-2500 baht with sex is around the norm. And hell, none of my research has been wrong so far :)

There is some confusion on the location of my hotel - largely because I am confused as to where it is myself. I give her the hotel card and my room number figuring she can call them for directions. And call me when she gets there. She gets off work at 10pm. So I figure I'll go back to the room and sleep some time before then. She is delightfully tiny. There hasn't been a lot of cuddly these last few years except when Tracy has been around and that used to be one of my favorite activities. I find myself looking forward to it.

Okay, Beach Street runs one way, 2nd Road runs the return. Since I can see the ocean I don't have to remember which way to go. I'm overheated again before I even reach 2nd. I grab the first Somgthaew I see and say 'Soi 5'. He indicates it is right up the street. I pull out the map, point to it and say 'Soi 5.' He nods and off we go. About 3 miles probably less. This driver is honest - 10 baht (a coin that looks and feels a lot like a twonie (Canadian $2 coin)). Now here's where the twist comes in. There is always a twist. One this side of the road Soi 5 (clearly marked on the map) and right between Soi 6 and Soi 4 like you'd expect. However on the otherwise of the street Soi 5 is basically a small alley. One that is, as I will discover, about halfway back the way I have come. This will come to be a good thing as I am much closer to the area I know, but at this moment it is not appreciated. I make mental note of the Hard Rock Cafe across the street marking the position of the almost hidden Soi 5.

Back at the hotel I'm drained and my stomach is still slightly upset. I eat the wasabi peas and dried tamarind fruit packages that I have bought previously in case I had an urge to raid the mini-bar. Damn, I forgot to look for a book store and I didn't check out hardly any laundries. I lie down but I soon realize I am no where near able to sleep.

I do my email. I try to call Jia. I call Lorne. Then I remember the notes about the airflight here. I have hours of notes to type in. My typing is getting worse and worse - wrong words - misspellings - missing words - it takes hours to get these entries to hard to follow shape you find them in. Thankfully (for me) the spell checker does most of the work - but that unluckily for you makes me less likely to catch the other less glaring mistakes.

My phone rings at 10:30 - I'm shocked that it is that late - I'm about halfway through the first day of notes. Jib is leaving now and wants me to wait for her in the lobby. I figure at quickest she is 20 minutes away, so I take my time getting dressed and shutting down the computer. Then I grab the book I've already read and my clock and read down to the lobby. The couch that gives me a good view of the room is not as good as the chairs I have previously sat in. I stare at the book wondering why I brought it, and then grab one of the English language newspapers. Jib arrives around 11;30, she has gotten terribly lost and been all over.

She has to leave her ID at the front desk and I have to pay the hotel 600 baht for an extra guest. Nice little racket they have there on that. Then we are allowed in the elevator.

I offer her room service but she says she has eaten earlier. This is a good sign - I've been expecting to be treated like a walking wallet - but I'm not getting that vibe at all.

We shower, which she is resistant too at first. I think it is shyness, but eventually it gets across to me that she is freezing. I get her under the shower flow and she is fine. I had forgotten how much I liked the feeling of soap on skin.

It takes a long time to get across the idea that I don't want sex. Longer still to explain why to a degree that she doesn't feel insulted.

The cuddling is nice - for about 20 minutes - then I can't sustain the illusion and it just seems like going through the motions (which is what it is; echoes of smoke from another fire). And my body begins to hurt on the side I'm lying on like it always does when I try to sleep. I flip over and we press back to back. Not unpleasant. Thankfully, due to all the lack of sleep I've had I fall asleep much easier than I had expected to.

I awaken as the first light finds its way around the curtain. I have no idea what time it is nor where I last left the clock. Jib is still sleeping, silently.

I try to drift back to sleep and become aware that I am starving. Did I eat anything yesterday except two small packages of convenience store food? I don't think so. And my stomach is clearly over whatever has been ailing it the last few days.

I go to the bathroom which does not rouse Jib, so I return to bed and listen to the music - Jane Oliver which has been playing quietly over and over all night. I think about booting the computer but you know what - it's cold out there. It's nice and warm under here. Didn't think I'd ever reach that state while I'm here. Eventually Jib wakes up and I get up. It is only a little after 7.

Down in the lobby restaurant there is a buffet set up. I had wondered as their room service and menu had nothing I considered a breakfast item. I don't know if it was free or not - I didn't see a price anywhere. I run into this a lot. They did ask our room number. Jib said she didn't normally eat this early, but she ate a small plate while I did. I didn't have very much as I am finding that I feel much better on little food. And hungry as I was nothing much caught my attention. They actually had a better breakfast back in the other (pause to spit) hotel.

Lots of attempted conversation - not sure how much was comprehended by either of us.

Afterward we went to the front desk to retrieve her ID. They pulled out a stack of - no joke - about hundred IDs and began to look through them. That's quite a nice chunk of change for them. According to Jib not all hotels charge for extra guests. It grates on my slightly only because I am a single guest in a 2 person room. But I know that isn't the point.

We walk outside and I make yet another attempt to orient myself. Jib corrects me as to where the water is - I can see it from my room on the 15th floor but not from the ground. I would have been a different 90 degrees off again if left to my own devices. A few feet to the left and I realize I can see the Hard Rock down at the end of the alley. Now I'm locked in - good for the future. I can get in, out and back with a certain amount of confidence.

We continue to the water. Still she has not asked for money. I broach the subject of cost again. Apparently I am supposed to guess. This is not a game I can win. If I go low, I risk insulting her - which I do not wish to do. If I go where I think is reasonable (to her) then I risk that becoming the opening bid in an escalation. Eventually I wear her down and she says 2000 (mentally: 1000 = $32 times 2 = 2000 = $64) Exactly the figure I had wanted to say but to be a starting point. I also give her 20 baht for cab, even though I sure she will walk.

Then with no conscious planning I set up for her to return on Sunday.

We hug, she walk together a bit and then I turn away from the ocean. I look at some shops idlely but mostly I am becoming keenly away that sun is starting to clear the high rises. The dead hot will be upon us soon. This day I want to regain my equilibrium. Do nearly nothing - even if it kills me. Stay in the hotel - stay cool and avoid chaos.

Back at the hotel I check my email. PayPal has turned Dan's account off and he has had to ditch his Sell.com and iOffer postings. This is largely what he is eating off of as far as I know. I worry for both him and me. Then I remember that the credit card I left with him was pretty near it's max and decide to fix that. It turns out i already have done this - still not a lot of breathing room but has long as I stay on top of it.

Then I notice one of the cards that is supposed to have a bigger amount of free space on it is almost full. I call Amex to see what's up? They lowered my credit limit on that card because of credit report. Amex never used to do this. Made a big point about it in their commercials a few years back - that the only thing that mattered was your track record with them. Shows that everyone is battening down the hatches for the economic upheaval that looms. Seven grand of potential liquidity up in smoke. Not a major problem, except long term, but scary in that it could become a pattern. This happens to a few more cards and I'll have change game plans. Not sure exactly how.

Okay, I know I'm not going out but laundry is an issue and there is a row of almost exclusively laundries on the row just in front. Normally I'd throw money at it and let the hotel deal with it, but it is cheaper to buy new clothes than get the old ones washed. I find over 5000 baht in the pockets of my sweat pants. A happy event and also a bit scary - I'm losing some of the edges of things here. Anyway laundry collected I head out bravely <g> across the street. I skip the first couple thinking that the closest ones are more likely the more expensive. The first one I try I can't get across the concept of receipt - something that says I left my clothes here - and either he doesn't get the idea or he doesn't feel like doing it and points at one of the other laudries across the alley and up a little. Works for me.

This one looks more organized. My clothes are dumped out on the floor, sorted - I notice a few silk underwear go in the shorts pile but they do kind of look like shorts. She writes me up an itemized receipt: exactly 200 baht. Cool. She repeats tomorrow evening. The same estimate the other guy had opened with. I tuck the receipt into my wallet. I'll drop off a second load off the slightly pungent clothes I am wearing after I pick up the clean ones. I might also go down to the market after sundown and get another set of shorts and shirt that I am finding the most comfortable and practical. Maybe I'll even finally find a book store.

Back at the room I notice Jib had opened the curtain some. If I had looked out it I don't remember - such an explorer I am. I can see the ocean from up here. As well as combination of high rises and tenements that reminds me of looking at Atlantic City from a Casino hotel. I think to take pictures.

That is a little bit of Pattaya Bay visible in the top center.

A little steeper angle and you see what I call Laundry Row.

The right direction only for laundry otherwise I become lost.

You really don't get feel in this picture for how rundown these

buildings look compared to the high-rises (or civilization for

Okay, they clearly have no intention of cleaning this room while I am in it. I'm off to try that scalp massage with - hopefully - the coconut oil this time.

Nope, no coconut oil this time either. I'm starting to feel strung along, except that it means I get the same extra good massage as before at the facial price, so hey - remain out of coconut oil longer if you want. Once again the near constant pain my right arm is gone. Amazing.

Since I'm now smelling more of peppermint than sweat, I go down to the lobby for a 4pm lunch/dinner.

I order much too much food. Two appetizers and an entree. I figure they will be on the small size given that they are all low cost items.

The first was pretty much what I had hoped it would be. Lox rolled around cream cheese with onion and sweet cabbage thing (think crunchy relish in leaf form) and tabs of a horseradish based sauce. Only - and I'm not really complaining - there were three sets of it where I was expecting one.

On the entree (and type here straight from the menu) Grilled Long Eggplant Salad (Thai Spicy Symbol) With shallot minced chicken, seafood and boiled egg.

The waitress warns me about the spiciness. While I remember how spicy the meal was the last time I ignored this warning, I tell her I want to build up my tolerance. My adventurous side is starting to reemerge at least in the spectrum of food (although not yet enough to order the 'Cappuccino of Lobster Soup'. I can't even imagine - but my curiosity will get the better of me eventually.)

Again she is right to warn me. Thai spicy is hot hot hot. But is so flavorful. It is the kind of pleasure Dan will never understand. The meal becomes a battle of wills. The eggplant itself becomes the refuge because it is not spicy. Nor is the most of the seafood. It is the red Thai death peppers that are the killer, and about halfway through I start to work at avoiding them. Tears are running from my eyes, mucus from everywhere else. And like the course before it, it is bigger than expected. But in my mind I'm going three rounds with Rocky and I'll be damned if this meal will best me.

I begin to fear that they haven't forgotten the other appetizer, that it will appear at some point to deliver the knock out blow. I also chastise myself for forgetting that I have plenty of days to try everything. I don't have to order so much. Triumphant, proud, smiling and happy I put down the chopsticks - finish the last of the slowly nursed and coveted iced coffee and lean back.

The waitress to comes over to say the "seared scallop on potato cake" will be about five minutes. "Cancel, cancel" I cry, grabbing my stomach for emphasis.

I go to add headline sections to this month and I can't for the life of me remember how to do it, Like anything it seems that I don't do often, it has slipped my mind. Mostly it will be a matter of going through the very long list of names for website looking for one that jogs my memory. Or maybe my mind will be clearer tomorrow (although I thought it was pretty clear today.) It was only fleeting passed through my mind that there will come a time when I won't know how to post this website. Anyway, I'll struggle tomorrow to get headline sections up. I think lots and lots of sleep is in order for the moment. Which means I'm not going to market, which means I'm wearing the same stinky clothes tomorrow. Unless I wear my bathing suit and go to the beach. It could happen.

Just as I start to fall asleep the name of the page for the headline sections pops into my head, followed almost instantly by the easy and obvious way I could have tracked it down. I feel confident I retain this knowledge in the morning and after lots of tossing and turning I fall asleep.

Awake at 4 - that about 8 hours sleep. I decide to get up and make some calls as it will be 4PM back home. Checking my emails first I go a few rounds with Jim LasCola - an old Ultimate Universe buddy from Chicago days. he has been hosting the Black Nova game that was playing until he took it down a few days ago in favor of an updated version that frankly I don't have the energy to learn. All my ability to adapt and learn is being challenged by and channeled into this city. I have precious little mental energy left to spare. Even spending most of the last two days in the room I still feel a bad day looming on the horizon. My skin is nice and plump again at least. Without constant dehydration I no longer look like a sickly deflated prune.

Jim says that he read my whole journal (all months) in one sitting. I find that hard to believe both from a time perspective and from a mental perspective. rarely do I take compliments well, but I was pleased he enjoyed it.

Next I called my mother who was freshly back from the hospital - bronchitis - and on the mend but not quite tip top yet. Tried to reach my sister. Talked with Shaun - who turned out to be at my house working on sorting out my stuff and we talked until that houses magical ability to block cell phone reception kicked in.

In a couple of more hours the some of the shops will begin to open and I will go on a hunt for bacon. I'm craving bacon and the breakfast here, while I suspect free, is one of the few weak links to this hotel. I'm going to take a shower, add the headlines and head out briefly. From there it is either clothes shopping, beach or more hotel depending on how I feel.

I've only been here 6 days = only 5 in Pattaya - it seems like so long ago since I arrived here. A less than scientific calculation leads me to believe I am going through money about twice as fast as I should be. I'll need to throttle back a little I think. 'Time moves slowly in Thailand.'

People keep telling me I'm brave - traveling alone so far from home. It is not that I'm - it is that I am stupid or more accurately brain damaged. My brain does not appropriately respond to fear and so I had gotten used to, or trying to, ignoring fear. As when I feel it, there is usually no reason to be scared. In the shower I consumed with fear of finances. Is this a valid fear? I have no way of knowing. I try to think it through rationally but it just piles over me in waves, clenching my jaw and undoing all the good work of the masseuse yesterday.

Where is the $100,000 fairy when you really need it? I can't help but think that what Paris Hilton spends on a handbag could completely change the texture of the remaining months of my life. This is liberal thinking and I'm ashamed as soon as it starts bouncing around my brain. You play the hand you are dealt and you play it the best you can. I've always believed this, but when your back is to the wall - well even atheists become religious in foxholes they say (not this one though.)

Eventually it passed as all fears do and finished my shower.

My sister calls just as I am sitting back down to the computer. I can hear her just fine, but she can't hear me very well. I hang up and call her back. Still exactly the same. After shouting for a bit, we give up trying to communicate today.

Okay here is an example of how wonky time is here.

I wake up early. Not sure when but probably around 5am. I shower, read, watch some TV, answer emails and generally kill time until 9am when some of the earlier minded shops are considering waking up. I head out in search of breakfast.

F & B - no idea what that stands for, it doesn't seem to say anywhere. But the word croissant catches my eye. 2 eggs, croissant, sausage and ham and coffee - 60 baht. Fried eggs here always seem to be dangerously undercooked, as is more often than not the bacon. If Trichinosis wants to enter the race to see what can take me down the fastest, so be it, but undercooked eggs are gross. I make up my mind to only eat omelets and scrambled eggs.

From here I walk down 2nd Road back toward the area I have been previously. If successful I will have linked the two areas and have one big map in my head. I am walking against the flow of traffic (most roads are one way here) which is good for when I get tired I can grab a Tuk Tuk and ride back to the road to the hotel. Thus no need to worry about the sun. I expect I will hit the McCafe in my travels but instead I run into the All Night market instead. That means I have the previous section of town inverted in mental map.

At the market I buy a second pair of shorts just like the first one. This turns out to be harder than I thought. I have no idea which of the scores of merchants I bought it from and I it takes several attempts before I find something very close to what I want. This task accomplished I spot some socks out at the perimeter: 5 for 100 baht. How can you go wrong? 5 pairs of socks later I continue down 2nd Road. Having flipped my mental map I am pretty sure I will run into a place for a shave between here and the McCafe which marks the outer limits of my travels. I do not have a razor with me, and I have let my beard go just a bit further than my electric shaver can handle. Plus I miss the closeness of real shave.

The air is dry and feels good to walk because of it. This is a good thing because my journey is slightly longer than I am picturing. I am just starting to really doubt that I know where I am when I run into it. Mens and Womens hair cuts, perms, shaves and what not. It is clearly geared more to women, but it is open and empty. The women gives me a shave with a razor blade. she makes a joke about me being afraid she will kill me. I don't get the joke for a good ten minutes. I have no fear of the razor blade. I enjoy the shave.

A few steps out the door and further down the road: McCafe. I have reached the edge. I have accomplished everything I wanted except found a bookstore (also I forgot to bring the camera but that is, I'm sad to say becoming the norm.) I have no interest in the McDonalds - it is not good to have something that is supposed to be like home be slightly foreign. My eyes linger behind the structure to the walkways and rock gardens and such. It's a strange construct and takes me a while to realize what I am looking at: MALL!

I linger through it. It is neither an indoor nor a strip mall. It is like a three floor circular strip mall with a theater on top. I find a grocery store inside and am instantly drawn to the smell of Chocolate croissants - not that thing I had for breakfast, this is the real deal. Just the supermarket alone is huge and I wander around for quite awhile staring at this and that; taking in the familiar and the strange. I find a section of English books. All the books are sealed in shrink wrap. I find a copy of Carl Hiaasen's 'Nature Girl'. Not the same book as the one I could not find the day I left America, but the same author. 350 baht, more than it would have cost at home - but then it is imported.

Well now that I have decided to buy something I might as well seriously look at the food. I have nothing to cook with and only a limited amount of fridge space (it is a stocked minibar after all) so my choices are limited. The croissant definitely, but only one. I find some wonderful looking blue cheese. Something looks a lot like some one peeled a grapefruit down into sections and then shrink wrapped the package. I have to ask about crackers and it takes a while to get the concept across, but then I am personally shown where they are. I grab a small container of what I hope is acidosis milk. And last but not least, a large can of lychee nuts. In the end 750 baht, half of it book and I get to charge it.

Wandering through the mall on my way to the street, I pass the elevator for the cinema. Jumper is playing which I would like to see, but it is not playing anytime soon.

It is still wonderfully dry and overcast. I decide I can walk back to the hotel. By the time I get there I am very hot, possibly burnt and quite tired. I throw off my soaked garments, crank up the AC and look at the clock.

Now this is what I'm talking about time here: it is noon. There is a warp where you can get everything done in a day from 9am to noon. It is very predictable and very strange.

I lounge around on the bed, and proceed to eat everything I bought. The cheese is wonderful, the lychee divine. This becomes lunch and dinner.

I awake around 3pm. My arms are killing me from lying around so much. Regardless I try to sleep some more but soon give up on that plan. Time to see if I fit in the tub. This shower and I have not be getting along. It is a pretty but stupid design. The tub itself is like the one at the other hotel except the larger end is where it makes sense. But half the outside of the tub is tub to ceiling a solid unmovable glass wall. So to work the shower controls you have to be standing under it (or in front on it really - as with all three tub/showers I've had this one starts at chest level.) and take a blast of cool water to turn the thing on. But anyway, I just fit in the tub and due to the cup shaped end I can read comfortably. Every once and while I turn slightly to dip a shoulder under the very hot water. This helps them a lot. However when I got get out the combination of design and my weak right arm has me trapped. I sit and squirm and wonder what the protocol is for something like this. If I am truly stuck how long before someone finds me? of course if I am willing to push through the pain I can get out but as yet I am not, and finally with a little rocking, some momentum and tad of ingenuity - I am grateful to me free of porcelain prison.

I don't remember if I went back to sleep or watched TV or computered - most likely a combination of all three - but eventually it is 9am and I am dressed and ready to go. As the sales clerk had said they would be the shorts are a bit too big. Don't care, I love the scores of pockets. Heading out it cool and overcast. Perfect. The plan is to get breakfast, swing around and pick up the laundry, drop it back at the room and then check out the beach. This is the closest to executing a plan I've come to. I got all the parts, just not quite in that order.

I didn't find the breakfast place I had mentally noted yesterday, so at the main corner I decided to check out the other supermarket - the one across the street. I walk around briefly but I headed to the beach not the hotel, so I don't get anything. Except that at the exit there is a coffee nook with three stools and two small tables. The stools are full - I take a table and order an Iced Coffee, no sugar. I drink it slowly, reading the paper and watching the girls flirt with the guys on the stools.

Halfway to the beach I spot - wonder of wonders - an air-conditioned diner and it serves bacon. I order eggs, bacon and toast. No dice, they are out of bacon. I switch to the mushroom omelet and toast. I am in no hurry to move on, I sit and stare at the customers. Two are Germans in their thirties, the rest - a hand full or so are men in their sixties or older. They are, all but one, alone and look very sad or bored. Some go and are replaced with copies. The slight air conditioning has created a haven for insects: gnats and flies. As they leave my face alone, they don't bother me. Many are constantly swatting or swiping at them.

I leave when this starts to depress me. It is still cool (actually cooler outside I think than the diner) and dry. At the corner across from the beach I see a book story. Even though I already bought a book yesterday - it is with me in fact - I briefly check it out. Other than post cards I don't see anything of interest. Ah, up the street along Beach Road, a 7-11. I fill up my empty water carrier with nice cold water.

A quick dodge across the street I am at the beach. The beach itself is barely more than two lounges deep. And there are indeed, two rows of loungers stretching out as far as the eye can see in both directions. Overlapping, completely blocking out the sun are three layers of beach umbrellas. At this hour one spot looks as good as another but since it is overcast I study the scene a bit. People are walking back and forth along the thin strip of sand between chair and water. Most of them are hawking one thing or another. As I am not in the market for material objects I figure the back row seems to be the better spot to be left alone. As usual, I can't tell if there is a charge or not, and no person is noticeably in charge. So I sit and relax.

I pull out my book and read about a paragraph. My mind is already wandering. Not a good sign for reading. You would have thought I would have noticed that back at the coffee stand. It is remarkably cool, with a great breeze.

My mother had made a joke about ugly Americans and not buying Speedos. Well there are ugly Germans, Russians, British, you name it strolling up and down the beach strip. Enormous women with so much fat you can't tell if they are wearing any bottoms at all. Men twice my girth in nothing but a tiny Speedo. Nobody cares.

One of the sellers appears to be what looks like strawberries but the distance is far away and decide it is probably some bright red death death pepper or the like - I haven't seen a strawberry at any of the street side fruit vendors.

A woman comes up and asks if I would like a foot massage. Anyone that knows me, knows this is not a question I will answer no to unless really pressed for time or money, and I'm not going anywhere and the price is dirt cheap. She has a beach towel and it takes her a little while to set up and position herself. I'm leaning back in beach chair enjoying my massage, enjoying the breeze and the shade, cold water at my side and beautiful native girls parading by - heaven can't get much better this.

After the massage she talks me into a pedicure as i have all the death skin on the heals of my feet - another $6/ Why not?

All this time I've waving off any vendor that has managed to catch my eye. No I don't want tattoos or whatever the hell that book of pictures is you are hawking. No I don't need any deep fried parts, thank you. Cold soda sounds great, but I've got my water, thanks. Nope, don't need any barrettes, neither does the lady at my feet. Strawberry girl comes round again. Completely forgetting there is a women with a razor blade at my feet I beckon her over. Well what do you know - they are strawberries. I bet strawberries here are like strawberries from my youth when they still had some flavor. They sure look good. 40 baht? I do the math wrong in head and come up with $9. Luckily by then I had already completed the sale. I'm not really hungry, and I prefer them cold, so I put them in the seat next to me with my book and water holder.

After the foot work, I sit and drift some more in the shade. I have no wish to move or do anything. I watch the boats come and go, I gaze out at the horizon islands. I stare at the girls and try to avoid staring at the tourists. Slowly I become aware that I have to go to the bathroom. Have I seen a bathroom? Can I see one now - I swivel my head around. No, that is clearly a symbol for electricity. I fight the urge for as long as possible, but eventually I am forced to get up.

A guy comes running over to me: 30 baht. Free chairs was just too good to be true, but that's a real cheap rate. I ask about a bathroom, and he points down the street at nothing in particular and says "only 5 baht."

Not in the mood to explore looking for a toilet, I realize that the hotel is only 3 blocks away and off I go.

Those that have been paying attention should know what time it is back the hotel: noon.

What is it now, three or four days here at this hotel? I finally make it to the pool. my plan every day (except maybe the first but I think even then) was to go to the pool when I figured it might be in shadow which I thought it must be by 5pm. Well I got hooked on a movie (Fly Guys or something like that, had to do with the French Foreign Legion) which just kept going. As 5:30 passed (pool closes at 7:30) I start getting antsy and I decided I've seen as much as I need too (it's seemed 10 minutes from ending for like two hours) and off I go to the pool. Bathrobe, their slipper things, swimsuit and hotel towel. I bring all this so that I make sure that they will have all these things already. Works like a charm.

The Third Floor Pool - All Seasons - Pattaya

Sure enough, the pool and in fact the entire deck, is in shadow - looks like it might have been for a couple of hours. There are four people in the pool and maybe eight on the deck chairs - oh and one at the bar.

The water is warm, but once in I am cold. Cold, in Thailand? What a great feeling! Makes me leery to get out though. I talk with an young New Zealand girl - I thought she was British from the accent - need better radar. She is trying to keep hold of a floaty ball but the wind keeps kicking it about and the pool has an in water rim about an inch deep and three feet wide that the ball keeps getting up into.

To keep warm I find myself exercising. Using the edge for balance, leg kicks and arm lifts. It is actually good for the arms because I am having so much trouble with the (still assuming) tendonitis that I can't do any pushups or weight lifting and the poor things are just atrophying. My legs actually get soar, I don't really apply enough pressure for the arms to, but still they feel better for it.

Eventually I am alone in the pool, tired and cold. Exiting as fast as my very unsure feet will let me, I grab a big yellow towel and wrap it around myself for warmth. I grab my glasses and rather than take the seat my things are in and go over and talk to one of the guys that had been in the pool. He has a Thai girl with him, but that seems no impediment to us striking up a conversation. He is from England, and for the life of me I don't remember a single thing any of us said but it was great to have conversation in which I am completely understood.

After a while we all stop talking and I stare up at the birds circling the top of the high-rise so far above. It is literally hypnotic. A lot of whistling from the grounds snaps me out of it - I'm virtually dry so it must have been a while.

At some point I become fully aware that the patio we are on is over nothing at all (this is the third floor) and that it is made out of what appears to be half inch wood. I try to apply the, 'well nothing has happened yet' philosophy but my fear of heights is strong today. So weird to have little fear of death and yet still have a fear of heights. I thank Chris for the conversation, gather my things and head to the elevator. It is a long time before it comes. It is almost full - I get on and the overload light comes on. Once upon a time that would have mortified me - now I back off, grab my belly and laugh. Another long wait for an elevator (only two shafts and it looks like the tour buses have come in - probably what the whistling was all about) and this one is totally full. And both are now headed upward above me. Okay, I'll walk I think to myself - get some more exercise. The flip-floppy things slow me down some as I have to stop every couple of stairs to scuff my way deeper into them. Regardless, by the ninth floor my heart is beating ridiculously hard for a six floor climb and I bail on the stairwell and exit into the ninth floor elevator landing. I'm breathing so hard, and as I push the elevator button it zooms right up. I wonder what the people will think of this hyperventilating man in a bathrobe - but oddly the it is empty and I am taken swiftly to my floor.

I set about typing this up (above it notes from the last two days need fleshing out) and order room service. Tough to narrow it down to one thing. I go with Roast Duck Curry and at the last second add Shrimp Spring Rolls to the order. A few minutes later the phone rings - they are out of Spring Rolls. The second time they have saved me from myself. I add an Ice Coffee (no sugar) to my list - today is a no drinking day "Hey I just remembered something from my poolside chat!" - seems they don't let people drink and vote - too many fights. So I think to myself, that since I don't drink anyway and I'm feeling pretty good (could change when I eat something), this might be an excellent time to check out the night life. Caffeine should help in that endeavor.

Room service arrives much quicker than last time. Roast Duck Curry is a soup. How did I not know curry was soup? Anyway, this turns out to be good - soup is exactly the right amount of food. Mildly spicy the menu says, and it is but the first sip catches me off guard and I almost choke on it. Wonderful flavor, spicy yet full of fruits and of course the duck. Love it.

Despite coffee, I'm not sure if I'm going out. I'll rest up until 10 and see how I feel. If the past is any indicator I probably won't end up going out. In theory, Jib is coming over tomorrow night, if I don't go out tonight, maybe I will then. I try to catch up on the days events here but I am having difficulty with focusing my thoughts.

I'm not feeling well today. Muscles are twitchy but not quite a full blown attack. I think it is best to stay away from noise and lights and sun today.

Even though it isn't that good, I decide on having breakfast in the hotel. From where I am sitting I can see two gentlemen standing in a corner nook. I can't quite figure out what they are doing until one of them leaves with a plate of foot. Curious I wander in that direction, and tucked into a fold in the wall so that is virtually undetectable from the outside room is a chef, a stove and a counter. It's an omelet bar - all hidden away. I order an omelet and feel much better about the breakfast situation.

It is near check out time when I head back to the room so there is quite a wait for the elevator. Each ping, and beep, gibber fraying on my nerves. When the doors open and the people get out I make sure I am first to get in. When the weight alarm goes off on the seven person, he exits and the elevator goes up stopping on each floor in it's slow march to the 15th. Back at the room I collapse on the bed. I try to read, but I can't focus my thoughts. I try to sleep but that never works during the day.

I turn on the TV but it neither diverts nor absorbs my attention. I become restless. I put on my bathing suit and go to the pool, but the sun is dead overhead and it is just making the static in my head worse. I return to the room, but can neither rest nor be restless. I pace from the computer to the TV to my book to the bed to the window and back again.

Around three I decide a massage might help, at the worst it will divert some of my attention. I decide to go up Laundry row and take a left at Central Pattaya road. This is unexplored territory but it allows me to remain largely in the shadows of the buildings as I walk. And I can mostly avoid major intersections. I hate trying to figure out how and when to cross the streets here.

I pass up massage place after massage place - they are everywhere here. I am not sure what my criteria is. Clean without looking too professional. Prices posted in view in English - I know that helps. But usually I eventually spot one that feels safe and inviting. Today it is the words '3 in 1 - 399 baht.' Three in one I assume refers to the three specialties of most of these places, Oil, Thai and Foot massage. All three sounds like it would be good for what ails one.

The masseuse is large for a Thai and looks like she is part native American. What I don't take into account is that while it is three in 1 it is one right after the other for the full period of each. Another words it goes foot massage, then thai massage and finally oil massage for a total of three hours in all (and for those playing along at home that is about $13). I wouldn't have thought it possible but one can have too much of a good thing. By the end I feel ridden hard and put away wet. I have however avoided the lights and noises of day. I slowly and wobbily work my way back to the hotel.

I stay in the room long enough for it and me to cool down. It is dinner time and as often is the case I have skipped lunch. I'm hungry but I have no intention of going out again. However I'm not quite feeling like being in the room either. I briefly reconsider the pool, it should be in shadow now. I decide on dinner in the lobby. In fact I think I'll finally try to Cappuccino of Lobster soup I've been staring down on the menu all week. In the elevator I run into the New Zealand family I ran into previously at the pool. They recognize me, I didn't have my glasses on when we met. They too are going to the lobby. It would have been easy to wrangle up some dinner companions out of this lot, but I'm not feeling overly social at the moment and am grateful when the suggestion doesn't come up.

They are having a buffet tonight and after looking it over only a couple of things catch my eye, but I go with it over ordering from the menu. This turns out to be a bad culinary call as the buffet is uninspired at best. I eat a couple of small plates worth of various things and some fruit and rather quickly retreat to my room. It isn't until a few hours later that I realize that no one asked me my room number nor did I pay for anything. I doubt the buffet was free but now I feel better about the value of the food :)

Jib usually gets off work at 10 and she won't get misdirected this time so i figure i will hear from her around 10:30. I'm not really in the mood, but I'm also not in any specific mood and I told her to be here so I try to get myself ready to be social. I lie down, simmer down and watch TV. The phone rings about 9pm, she will here shortly. I figure twenty minutes minimum so I take my time getting dressed and going down stairs. I am not seated more than a few moments when she comes bounding through the door.

I pay the front desk (there is a note around this fee in the elevator that I noticed after the first time it came up) and up we go. We slowly and almost painfully try to swap stories about the week. They have gutted the structure in which she works (I see this happening everywhere. This city is in a constant of flux: tearing things down and building things up; construction is everywhere.

She is out of work for a week while they build a new place.

We cuddle up and drift off to sleep much easier than last time.

I awake at 5am. I've awoken myself snoring several times during the night. I have no idea how Jib sleeps through it if I can't. I try fitfully semi-successfully to fall back to sleep for a couple of hours and I finally get up and take a shower to relieve the pain in my right arm. When I come out, Jib is sitting up. we laze around for forever.

I decide to throw money to the winds and ask Jib if, since she isn't working this week, if she'd like to stay here for a couple days? This solves the problem of reconnecting after I switch hotels on Tuesday - seeing as her place of employment no longer exists. She is happy with this plan. I am unsure whether this will work as I need a good deal of down time but it will also be good to have a companion. And someone to take pictures! I grab the camera and we head out into the humid morning air.

Thai women tend to follow - that is they are not good decision making. This makes trying to find breakfast a comical affair, as I am trying to get her to suggest and lead the way to a place and she is trying to duck behind me and force me to make a plan. Which is in fact what happens. We end up back at the Cool Air which I was not overly impressed with the first time, but there it is and I know it doesn't suck. This time it is appropriately named, the air is nice and cool, therefore cold for Jib but she only mentions this once. They bring me the same four or five choice menu of American food, while they bring her a menu in Thai with scores of options.

They have the bacon this morning. And actually the whole place seems better - hard to believe it is the same place. The eggs are cooked just right - a first since Bangkok - and the bacon is almost crispy. Jib's meal a massively spicy soup with lots of shrimps in it. You can see the spice oils literally steaming off the surface. In my mind this would make a great lunch or better dinner - but my stomach can't wrap itself around the idea of it for breakfast. But she is happy and so am I.

We are disusing what to do today when she says 'iz'. I run this through my head - sometimes I get there - not this time. 'iz' she says again and does a perfect queen wave. Nope. 'izzes,' motion of a snake in the grass. One more round where she makes a fist and bobs it slightly. Why I pick this ambiguous gesture to finally get the picture of a fish on a rope I don't know but finally I get it: fishes. The image in my mind is a fish market, as there are lots of them around here. 'Big fishes' she says. Okay, I think, strange choice but this might be interesting.

Right outside the diner we grab a tuk tuk, which I thought referred to the motorcycles but is a much easier way of referring to the Somgthaews (which I delighted to learn as I never have to cut and paste that word again,) which immediately pulls a u-turn and starts heading toward the highway. 200 baht Jib says to me. Must be fairly far away. After a mile or so, we stop at what looks like the outside of a theater. I have no idea what is going on. "We pay here," Jib says. 850 baht, and I see the tickets. Aquarium! Cool, it makes a lot more sense now. Only this is not where it is, only where you get the tickets and transport. Back in the tuk tuk we travel what feels like far out of town down the highway.

The aquarium is quite nice, much better as a modern structure than I would expect from this monument to the past of a town. It is the kind of place I might not be bored at by myself, and have quite a good time with Jib. She seems to love sharks. I try to get across that I lived where and when Jaws was filmed. Not sure I got the idea fully across, but maybe.

The stings rays, which float so gently over the glass tunnels we are walking through really grab my attention - such graceful creatures - like living carpets. And they have a really impression collection of seahorses. The glass tubes make it really hard to take pictures, but I get a good handful.

The gift shop - while having post cards of other parts of Thailand - oddly has none of the Aquarium or Pattaya. I figure with Jib's help I might be able to find a Post Office.

We leave - take a picture of the outside display - and grab a tuk tuk. I'm so glad I don't have to figure this path out. Downside to that is that we get off at the wrong turn. Another tuk tuk and few miles more and see the reason. The road is nearly identical and yet distinct from most of the other turns. From there we walk. We could have taking another tuk tuk but Jib thinks walking is good for me (I like that). Had I known we were on Central Pattaya road I would have felt more relaxed about it. It still felt like forever - but it was overcast - though the noise did get to me a lot for the first time here other than near the bars. Lots of bus honks, and construction and squeaking brakes.

She says "Air Con" and something else. The noise makes even are fragile attempts at communicating impossible. But a block further I see what she is talking about. A large air conditioned shopping mall. I duck in more for shelter from the noise than from the heat. It is a multiple floor building, the floors connected by the bastard children of slidewalks and escalators. Sort of a grain elevator for people. I sit for just a couple of minutes to regain my composure and then we head out again. Jib makes no attempt to get me to buy her anything. She is very good at this illusion - I never feel like a 'wallet with legs' as it has been described on the net.

Slowly I start to recognize shops from yesterdays walk, and realize were are much closer to the hotel than I thought. Thank good, I am beginning to get very hot and tired. I want to go swimming so I stop at the market and have Jib pick out a swim suit for herself while I look at some sandals. Half the things I am buying here, I have a perfectly good versions of still sitting back in Florida. But such is the life of the improviser. 850 baht (no charge cards - only hurts at all when they don't take credit - but today I am pushing all such thoughts aside. Laundry Alley Heckster

Now, I'm thinking it is about 4pm. We've had breakfast, traveled outside the city, spent forever in an attraction, ridden back, walked forever and then shopped. So I figure we might as well grab the laundry as we are write there. The clock on the wall says it is noon. How does this city do that? No matter what I do, no matter how long it takes or how convoluted it is - I'm back at the hotel by noon. Freaky.

Jib looks at the laundry and points at the sky. She says it is going to rain. I have not seen rain since I got here, and the sky doesn't look noticeably different to me than any other overcast day. But she knows her stuff - between the elevator and reach my room it begins to pour. After I cool down, she takes a nap while I type this up and wait out the rain to go swimming. Which should be about now. Almost Back to the Hotel

It is an hour later. I haven't been in the habit of eating a proper lunch. I'd grab a packet of nuts and one of fruit or some such from 7-11 or the like. (Take a moment to bless 7-11. They are about every other block and open 24 hours a day. Without them I'd have much more trouble getting water.) But we hadn't stopped to grab anything on our march back to the hotel and suddenly I am starving. I'm not use to getting string signals from my stomach other than distress, but it is being very clear - eat.

So down to the lobby restaurant we go. There is only one other group there. My favorite waitress is nowhere to be seen, but we are seated near the window. Despite being overpoweringly hungry I know things could and probably will change the moment I actually eat something. So I order lite: Tomato and Mozzarella salad, and Shrimp Dumplings. Jib orders in Thai so I'm not sure what it is but I'm sure it is spicy and mostly it appears to be fish.

We wait. Now, while time is funny here, service is usually punctual. i would say it was my hunger speaking but Jib actually brings it up. Amomrat (my favorite waitress) takes this opportunity to steal my service back from the random waiter that have gotten assigned to us. I'm yawning again, the Ice Coffee does nothing to dent it. Eventually the food arrives and it is as usual tasty. My stomach is now giving off mild warning signals but as far as these things have gone lately - it seems moderately content. And I stopped yawning as soon as the food arrived. Could be blood sugar actually have been low? I'll have to take a few noon readings to rule this out.

Back at the room I switch to my bathing suit. Jib thinks I'm crazy (and to her she is probably right as the poor girl will be cold) but follows suit. The rain has stopped but nothing has dried. There are several screaming Japanese children (actually one screaming and several children) in the pool and one man on the patio. We tip the water off our loungers and throw some towels down.

The pool is heavenly cool - Jib of course is freezing but shows no intention of getting out. I exercise my right arm almost exclusively and to exhaustion (for it) then work on my legs and then one more round with the arm. Once out of the pool, I have no book, the sun is still obscured by clouds and even so there is an umbrella between it and me (mostly in case it starts raining again.)

I'm wet, not really drying and have to go to the bathroom. I decide to go the room and grab the camera. When I come back Jib is wrapped up like a mummy.

I snap several shots of the pool area rapidly and return to the deck chair and attempt to relax. Eventually we return to the run and take a nap.

I don't feel like going out, Jib doesn't appear to be hungry.

Dinner is a bag of peanuts from the minibar.

Jib watches Football (soccer) on the TV. Manchester United playing someone else - I forget. It is easy to tell when the highlights are playing because that is when the goals are. My mind drifts to elementary school soccer which I greatly enjoyed playing because I would get in way of any body - I didn't care how big they were. I was the kamikaze and it was fun. i couldn't run too fast, and god forbid the ball came near me. But if you had the ball I would be in your way.

From this my mind pings to high school football - which I did not play - don't think I even attended a game. But I can't think of the team name. I know the colors: purple and white. But what was the name? What could it be? The Grapes? The Seagulls? What would an Island name be? Something Indian? My mind keeps trying to push Vineyarders on me, but Martha's Vineyard Vineyarders? That can't be right. [Bob Dutton would later assure me that we had indeed had that repetitive team name.]

Cuddling came much easier this evening as I applied some illusion of my own. Thinking of Tracy made all the parts fit together better and I drifted off to sleep in her arms.

I am do to check out this room today. So mostly I want to go down to breakfast in the lobby and then pack up the room. Having found food she liked at the restaurant yesterday, Jib wants to go there. This is not really what I want, but I am trying to foster within her the idea of taking the lead, so I don't say anything and back to the Cool Air we go. Today it more like the first time I went there. Their quality seems very hit or miss and don't eat much.

Back at the hotel I grab a couple of croissants and some fruit from the lobby and take it back to the room.

Jibs attempts at helping are actually confusing me. For instance, she folded up the dirty laundry. Now I don't know what is clean and what is dirty. But slowly the contents of the room get shoved back into their two containers. I realize again I still am the mercy of my possessions. Even just these two bags my actions are limited by the fear of losing them. I'd be lost without the laptop, homeless without the money and inconvenienced without the clothing.

I need to print out the hotel confirmation for the new hotel. I know I have seen a business lounge in the building somewhere but it is not where I thought it was. After talking to the front desk I am slowly able to describe what I need to do and given directions to a room on the second floor. After two false starts I find the correct room and begin the process anew of explaining what I need to do. I need to print out something from the Internet. A woman gets her terminal actively online and then motions me to the chair. I log into gmail and find the confirmation. The connection is extremely slow and times out a couple of times, but eventually I get the correct email open and sent to the printer. I look around, no one hovering for the their chair back so I also look up the new hotel website and get a map printed out. For some reason, maybe I closed the window too soon, only half the map prints. And not the half with the hotel on it. But I have the address, let's get out of her.

Down in the lobby, my tab (that beyond the cost of the hotel already paid via the Internet) is 3,300 baht. Okay, part of my mind says 'that's only a $100' and the other part says 'That can't be right.' I read over the itemized bill and it split rather evenly between minibar/restaurant and massage/spa. I can find no fault with it and charge it. My Citicard does not work for whatever reason, but the Amex goes through like a champ.

Addresses in Pattaya, and perhaps all of Thailand, are very strange... to the Thai themselves. I book a hotel, I get an address. In this case: 390/14 Moo 9, Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi. Now that means nothing to me. But the amazing thing is: it means nothing to any one else either. The door man looks at it with that look I've come to know - the this is going to take a awhile look. And I'm wishing I had taken the time to try again on the map. at least this guy is a trooper. He looks through books, he makes a couple of walkie-talking calls and talks to cab driver. Doesn't help. An address is worthless and no one has heard of this hotel (this turns out to be not as uncommon as one would think. Hotels are being build and torn down constantly.)

I suggest the Internet and he is off. I'm in no hurry, we probably won't be able to check in right away at the new place anyway. And Jib has the eternal patience I've come to associate with the Thai people. We wait and chit chat. Eventually he comes back with a full copy of my map and somewhere along the way has arranged and instructed the tuk tuk waiting out front. And we are off. The driver is clearly not quite sure where this place is but never the less gets us to it on the first try. All in all I'd guess it is less than a mile from the other hotel and not that far from the first hotel. But back a bit, nestled between 2nd and 3rd Road.

The hotel looks very nice, but there is a very odd feel to it. Like it is a set for a Twilight Zone episode and not a real hotel. First the price is too cheap for the quality of the lobby. But everything is just a little off. There is tons of free space, not uncommon in Pattaya (but then neither is every square inch jammed with whatever will fit another business. Except for the clerk, who herself has an unearthly air to her, there is not another person in sight.

There is a fairly good sized number of chairs in the back for a restaurant but it too is empty, even of staff. There are no people on the lobby couches or sitting at the two computers.

I sign in. Straight forward and simple. Show the password, sign the form. 1000 baht - key deposit. The key handle is huge: about two cigarette packs end to end, but only a quarter of an inch thick, and it is attached to a real key. No extra lady charge, Internet is passworded but free.

Two bell men appears as if they have just been written into the script and one disappears with my bags. This makes me very uncomfortable as that is the last of worldly possessions. We take the single elevator shaft to the fifth floor. As we waited to check out until the last minute it isn't really a surprise that it is noon.

We are right across the street from P. P. Massage which I have read about the Internet so I am bit worried about how much noise there will be at night.

Jib is amused that I feel the need to immediately unpack. The safe in the room is locked. I call down to the front desk. A new girl is written in and shows up almost instantly. She pulls off the front panel of the safe, plugs in a tiny machine and turns a key and pop opens the safe. Don't I just feel secure now? I throw my valuables in their and set the code. With luck i won't need to open it until I checkout.

Jib knows this area of town. She takes me down to 2nd and left one block. A nice looking open air place with lots of tables and swiveling ceiling fans and a thick menu. I let Jib order for us, we end up with 4 small platters of food that we both pick from. One very spicy, one 'mildly' spicy, one sweet vegetable dish and a plate of fried pork strips. I'm guessing the later was with me in mind but I don't have much interest in it. The sweet vegetable is the best, but I try to make a decent showing of the spicy dishes. We eat barely half the food.

Here's a thing to get used to in Thailand. They will never (I haven't tested this to absurd limits yet but I'm tempted) bring you a check until you request it. You could sit there completely unmolested (by the help - people will still wander in off the street and try to sell things to you.) forever if you chose to. And they don't try to push additional products on you like in America. If you want anything, you have to catch their eye and signal them to come over to you.

Well here, we couldn't get our waitresses eye, and when I finally had it seemed to take forever to get the check. Even Jib was impatient but maybe she was picking up on my wish to leave.

Back at the hotel we check out the pool. It is on the roof - zero shade and no umbrellas. I doubt I'll be up there much.

I go down to the front desk and request a room service menu - there is again zero information in the room - and an extra pillow. The room, being a single room, only has two pillows and I require two pillows myself in orde rto get in a position where I don't crush my shoulder. The room service menu is xeroxed sheet - that I swear she wants me to return later. It is a bit scary as I have still not seen a person in that area. The pillow is brought up promptly.

I'm starting to get a feel of where I am. The end of this road, should bring me halfway to 2nd road. Find a way to that I should be back near the market. From there less than half a mile to the mall and the cinema. Jib doesn't grasp that there is a movie where I think there is one but I am pretty sure (but of course never certain.) At the end of the road we turn neither left nor right but Jib leads me straight down what looks like a dead end lane. At the end we jog left through what looks like an open ended garage and take a right. Suddenly I realize we are in the market from the side. Thankfully Jib knows where she is going, a person can get really turned around in there.

And then we are out on 2nd road heading toward Jomtien. We pass the soi to the hotel I first stayed at (also where Jib used to work.) It is dry but hot, I am very glad I have my hat on but the band that touches my head is soaked. I am guzzling down the water I have with me. Eventually I see the place I got my shave and know I am a few steps from the mall. The marquee says Jumper starts at 4pm. It is 4:04. Perfect timing.

I'm so glad I didn't try this on my own. The escalator to the movies doesn't take you to the theater. It takes you to hall of many choices only one of which leads you to the ticket counter and if any are marked in a way to let you know this, it is not in English. But Jib knows where to go. There is only one couple in line ahead of us and of the eight service counters only the one is open. To this day I don't know what that couple were purchasing but it seemed to take forever. I dislike missing the beginning of movies so I was edgy (think Dad) although I said nothing except to Jib who probably didn't understand. Eventually they were done and we stepped up. Two tickets for 'Jumper.' They wanted to know where I wanted to sit. It's assigned seating. The computer shows that about 12 seats have been filled, what do I care when I sit? Jib finally says something and a choice is made. I can't remember the price, but I remember thinking it worked out to about $4 per person.

From there we are still not near the theater and I still don't see any indicators of where to go. But Jib takes down a corridor and up another escalator and down another corridor and voila! the ticket taker and actual signs for the theater numbers. Theater One: that's us. Finding my way in the dark on oddly sized steps was no treat, but Jib lead me to my assigned seat. It's 4:17, but they are still playing the coming attractions. Cool.

At one point I become aware that Jib has stood up and with my slowly adjusting eyesight I see a lot of others standing. Jib makes no attempt to get me to stand but when I start to she helps me up. They are playing some tribute to the Emperor, and much like our Star Spangled Banner, this is the custom. There is clapping at the end, followed by ads and then the movie starts.

'Jumper' is based on one of the few popular Science Fiction novels I haven't read. I have however heard enough about it from John to know that they completely mucked around iwth the story line. However the special effects were great, and Jib appeared to like it. The movie was in English with Thai subtitles.

Between returning to the hotel and reaching the room, it beings to rain. Then it pours. Then the thunder and lightning. I'm loving it - I love storms. Jib thinks I'm nuts. Then the power fails. That I would ever be without air conditioning when I wanted it, was not an idea had previously ran through my brain. There is a small amount of panic in the idea. I hear rustling in the hallway, so I grab the room key and head out to check it out. There groups of Japanese or Chinese are looking out of their rooms. That there are actually other people staying here does nothing to dispel the Horror movie vibe of this place.

Wait a minute the walkway lights are on. Emergency backup? Looking outside, the lights seem on. Is it just some of the fuses in this place? Returning to the room, I place the key back in its holder and the room lights up. Somewhere between taking the key and returning the power must have returned but without the key the room remained powered down. I give thanks to the inventor of A/C and go to bed.

It is still early. Jib watches football and we drink beer from the mini-bar. I rarely drink so the one beer really knocks me on my ass. I add some Tryptophan to the mix and fall asleep while Jib is still watching the match. I sleep deeply - for as long as I sleep.

I don't know when I awaken, but it feels like the middle of the night. I feel rested though. I've slept deeply. I change the music and try to drift back to sleep.

Around six I get up and take a shower. The bathroom has a shower area, no tub. This is actually my favorite configuration. The water has extremely good pressure (the best I have seen by far) but it only gets mildly warm. Still it is bearable, the pressure making up for the semi lack of heat.

We wander into the breakfast area, and there is some fruit and toast set up. We sit down and without asking two plates of fried (extra runny of course) eggs, sausage and ham. Sausage here is not what you think of when I say sausage. Saying Hotdog would get you closer to the truth. I pick at the meat, eat the egg yolks and mostly eat toast and fruit. Jib is not much happier. No wonder she doesn't like American food.

Back at the room, there is a phone call. The lobhy: the meal is only free to me, not Jib - 150 baht. No biggie, neither have any intention of eating here again.

I'm not feeling great. I make plans for Jib to return Saturday and send her on her way with 5000 baht. She doesn't even count it - in front of me anyway.

I drift on and off through sleep with the TV on. Eventually I feel with it enough to get up. It is - say it with me - noon.

For lunch I return to the restaurant Jib took me to yesterday. I grab a paper and wait for the waitress. I order Cream of Mushroom soup and a BLT. The soup was very thick and had huge quarters of mushrooms. Very different, but the best I've had. The BLT was a fair approximation. I stay for quite a while reading the paper, testing the theory that no one will bother you until you ask them to. I haven't disproved it yet.

There are 7-11s everywhere in this area too. One is write on the corner. I load up with stuff to keep me a way from the mini-bar and a couple of liters of water.

I feel the crash coming. The noise in my head is very loud today. I stay in for the rest of the day thinking I can diminish the crash. This never works, it only postpones the inevitable. But I always have to try that first day.

Morning, early, I'm in the shower working up the steam to go out and force this collapse over the edge so I can have a week or so of feeling good. I turn off the shower. Did I was my hair? I don't remember washing my hair but that means little. It doesn't feel washed, and I turn the water back on. What was that? A burst of honest to god hot water for a brief second. Thinking about that for a second I throttle back the pressure. The water gets slightly warmer. I repeat this over and over until the water is about an eighth its original throughput and the water is now piping hot. The heater tank just can't keep up with the usually high pressure levels. I wash my hair and then stand in the spray for a long time.

When I had asked for the room service menu they had also given me a couple of delivery menus. Now trying to order delivery service over the phone - where I can't use gestures - seems like an exercise in futility. Add in the address factor - it's more than I can contemplate. But the menu is Subway, and looking at the pictures it is not a Thai mock up of American food (like McDonalds was) but the real deal. And one of the locations is at Carrefour, where Jib and I had ducked into to get away from the construction noise and partake in some air conditioning the other day. It's a longish walk but nothing I can't do by foot if it isn't too humid out. This is the game plan of the day - a Subway sub - how sad an objective is that?

But first breakfast. Wandering in the general direction of where I want to go, I take a crooked path through the lanes. Trying to bridge Soi Bou Khow and Third Road by means I have not traveled. The lanes bend, twist, semi-dead end and play lots of tricks on me, but that is just part of the fun. It is very noisy in my head and the twitches are working their way up to half power. I'm also catching things out of the corner of my eye that I am pretty sure some of which are not there.

Off to the right, simply named 'The Cafe'. Small but air conditioned. Sold.

I like the opening page of the menu 'If you are looking for a complete breakfast for 59 baht, leave. Our emphasis here is on quality.' There was a strong Aussie feel to the place, but I am not sure why I think that. Huge plasma TV screen up front playing the credits to some movie on Cinemax. The combinations offered are strange, but there is a large ala carte section which i pick and choose from. The quality, which was better than average for here, did not wow me. And the iced coffee was very bitter. I'm ready to return to Thai food, my quest for home is not working out well. Oat Meal enters my head and I realize that I haven't seen any kind of a breakfast cereal offered while I have been in Thailand.

After watching some sort of brutal boxing/wresting match on the plasma screen for a while I continue on my journey. Eventually, and not as far as I would have thought, I end up in sight of Carrefour. I just have to cross to major streets (one intersection) to get there. Now this is no simple matter for me. They drive on the other side of the road, and my mind can just not make this adjustment to figure out the turning lanes and where I should be looking for traffic. I can still not make any sense of the traffic lights or indicators. Add to it several types of vehicles - throw in motorbikes everywhere and maneuvers that make Florida drivers look positively sane, and it is chaos. Oh, and also remember I don't trust my sense of depth perception, especially on days like these.

I'm getting use to the idea that a Thai driver is skilled at avoiding all targets that leap out in his path, but there is a 50-50 chance that the driver will be a half-drunken farang out on his first jaunt on a motorbike. And to complete the chaos mural let me remind you that lanes and directions seem to be more a suggestion than a rule.

My usual ploy is wait and tuck very close to someone else that is crossing the street and shadow them closely. But no one seems to coming from here. I wait, the rest feels good anyway; I am in the shade. There is no break in the traffic action here. Perhaps no one is crossing here for a reason. I walk back a block away from Carrefour, noting massage shops and diners as I go, and am able to cross about midway down by shadowing a jaywalking couple. Back up the other side street and this crossing is much easier.

Breakfast while small is sitting heavy in my stomach - which has shrunken again - I'm on the last notch of my new belt. And I'm feeling low on energy and have to drag myself up the steps outside Carrefour. I perk up a little when I hit the air conditioning. Entering the building I now see the reason for the slide walks - people can take the shopping carts up and down them as many are doing now. I don't have look long for the Subway, it is right in front of me, behind the Dairy Queen.

Only problem is it is only a little after 10am, and if I buy the sub I know I will eat it sooner than I should. I go upstairs and check out the supermarket. It is bigger than the other one I have been but is not as geared toward the English at all. I find a pair of sandals I like for less than 100 baht. Since I am going to by that I grab a few other things. Some drink called Aloe Vera and Grape (to my mind it sounds good for ailing stomach) and a bag of Buggle like things. Even though I shop slowly and look at everything (the deflated whole pig head being of particular interest) I can not overcome the time dilation problem.

I decide a massage will kill just enough time and my neck is sore from some of the night spasms. I try to find some of the back ways behind Carrefour but it appears that they are just recently build and not yet filled. I end up taking a long confusing hot walk around the neighborhood of Carrefour before eventually finding my way back around front and down the main way. I've passed up many a massage shop, and finally just go in one based on a slightly lower price. I ask for Thai massage. I am lead in the back and then up three flights of lower height stairwells. I wasn't expecting that and suddenly I'm having thoughts that I could just be hit from behind on one of these corridors and my unconscious body left in an alleyway. I'd never know where I started from.

Thankfully the third floor is the final one and I'm led through a doorway into air conditioning. Other than the location, it's the pretty much the standard setup; mattresses on the floor movable divider curtains (like a hospital.) I'm sweating from the walk and the climb so she sets a swiveling fan to blow on me and proceeds to pummel my body in the Thai style while I retreat into the noise in my head. At one point, I realize that besides the masseuse there are two other girls who giggle at me, rub my stomach, and scamper off. A Buddha reference I assume and reclose me eyes. This masseuse us talkative, and attempts to teach me some Thai. any other day this would be appreciated, today I have no short term memory and am not feeling well.

After the massage I don't feel much better than before and I inventory my aches as I am led back down the steps avoiding whacking my head at each landing. Back at ground level, I go to pay and my wallet does not have as much 100 baht notes as I expect. I mentally work my way through the morning's expenses. I can't be sure but they might have taken some. If true, it serves me right for letting myself get separated from my trousers, and at least they weren't greedy.

Having bested the noon barrier, I find myself back at Subway. The ordering processing is easier than I am expecting, but I still can't imagine trying over the phone. The guy after me speaks English and we talk as we wait. He has lived hear for 20 years. He talks me into waiting around to speak some more. I really want to get back to the hotel before the spasms take full hold (they tend to wait until I relax - after everything is done - but pushing it just makes it worse) but it is hot outside and Carrefore is air conditioned. He talks, a non-religious religious rant. It is hard for me to follow and I'm not particularly interest. But his way of speaking has a weird effect on my nervous system and I want to leave but I can't seem to make it happen. I'm having not quite visible hallucinations all around him. After an eternity I gather up my things and leave.

The walk back to the hotel is both shorter and more exhausting than I expected, and pour myself into the lobby (ooh, someone at the computer - it's not completely empty) and up the elevator to my room. I put the drink in the fridge, pull out some water and eat the sub quicker than I expect to. Exactly like it would be back home. I relax and the spasms claim me.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep, the rest of yesterday was an uncomfortable dream and I can tell upon waking that it is not yet over. My body is still locked. My head is quieter but still hurts. I look out the window. It looks very bright. I eat some chips from the mini-bar, wish I had a tub and curl up in bed again.