6/01/07

I'm still using StumbleUpon until all hours of the night. Each night I'm staying up later and later, and each day I'm getting less and less productive work done. Dan appears mired as well. I hope it runs it's course soon. There is much to do before August.

Mary K, Express mailed my rent check yesterday but the Post Office's guarantee is as good as they claim it to be (read the fine print) and the check does not arrive. I do some very clever/questionable accounting and give Jen some options. Thankfully she opts to wait until everything arrives and clears.

 
6/02/07

We went to Gram's fairly late as we have been going to bed later and later each day. Sheila was looking pretty nice but that fantasy has sailed. Speaking of which she is entering the Navy in August. Her boot camp is in Michigan, which I find ironic for the Navy.

The check arrives around 2pm - only 30 hours late. The delivery man offers no explanation, sympathy or apology, nor can any be pried from him. It Saturday, so it can't be banked until Monday. Thanks to my moving things around and turning credit into cash next month I will have a buffer zone, so it won't matter if things are a few days late.

 
6/03/07

After they cut off the demyelization drug, I noticed that I hadn't had any of the really bad days. I was beginning to suspect I was going to get them any more. Ha ha. I spent today on the couch, my muscles fighting one another, with the occasional ECT shock just to keep things interesting.

I most say though, having Dan around took much of the torment away as I only had to move to go to the restroom. That made it the best bad day I've had.

 
6/04/07

Dan has now menued four DVDs that I have not covered or posted. I'm falling behind. I finally get sick of the evil time leeching game and start to get some work done.

I need to go to the pharmacy and down to Longwood for supplies. This takes quite awhile and the even though it is quite often overcast the sum takes its toll on me.

 
6/05/07

Had big work plans for the day, but got stuck on a cover. Still got two covers done and a bunch of stuff ready.

 
6/06/07

Today I finished up what I had planned to do yesterday. Work-wise I am caught up several seconds, but during this day Dan has two more titles ready for me to work on.

I have gotten very far behind on my communicating. There is much email to answer on many machines and systems, but I work on catching up on this website instead.

 
6/07/07

I've nearly caught up to Dan designing covers for the titles he has menued. Feels good to put in a hard days work.

Back when I didn't know much about StumbleUpon - must have been a whole week ago - I couldn't find a Discordian group in the Group section, so I applied to start one. Mere hours later I was able to locate one. Well, today my request was granted. Now there are two Discordian groups on StumbleUpon.

A month or so ago I had John hook up both Washer/Dryers being that half of each unit worked and together it would make one semi-decent system. I can't do a very big load but this last week I've been doing a small load a day. It's very nice having being able to do clothes in-house again.

 
6/8/07

Ever since the new doctor expressed concern over my increases in the amount Xanax I've taking I've started to keep track, and now it is concerning me as well. Today, I decide to see if I can get by with just the 2mg at bedtime.

 
6/09/09

From time to time it crawls into my mind to be ashamed at how little effort I have put into tracking down Bob Dutton in the almost three years I have lived in Florida. Here my best friend in High School and certainly one of the people I've enjoyed most in life lives only 30 minutes away and I have not been able to make contact. I've asked various people for whereabouts and dropped messages with friends and family back home. I've gotten a few potential email addresses but they always bounced back. But here's the weird thing: I had the phone number and address almost from the beginning, but I only made the effort through email. I can understand not calling as the unknownness involved and the phone phobia together makes that a high hurdle to get over, but why I never tried writing a letter is beyond me.

Anyway, this crawled into my again a few days ago and I mentioned to mother to try to get his email address (his family stills lives on Marthas Vineyard as does my mother) which she did (the same one that bounced back on 2 years ago and did again) but she also talked his mom and she talked to Bob and TA DA, he emails me.

I received email late last night as I was going to bed and was barely coherent in my reply due to the lateness of the hour. The email was glowing, and struck me as eulogistic. But I was happy to hear from him and hope that we get together soon.

This being Saturday, Dan and I headed over to Grams. We went early and didn't eat too much, as we had errands to run. I remember there were three stops but I have forgotten the details - only that it involved a fair amount of driving around. All of this was to be complete so that we could arrive at the Deland Library Book Fair when it opened at 10am.

I was already starting to feel nauseous from the sun exposure when we arrived at the sale at 10:30. We both shopped quickly and got a bag full of paperbacks for less than $5. I may or may not get around to reading any (with the Internet taking up more and more of my time, I am having time getting needed amount of TV viewing in, and I'm starting to feel the effects of that.) but I'm sure Dan will go through even the ones I got for myself.

I was completely wiped out by the time I got home and spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch.

 
6/10/07

I'm still feeling crappy when I wake up, but by lunch time I decide I'm good enough to go to Grams. Turns out Tammy has been fired (as told to us in whispers - no explanation offered) and Sheila has taken her place this Sunday shift. Dan and my wits seem on target in both coherency and speed and we tease her mercilessly. Seemed like we talked and joked nonstop through lunch.

Now with a full stomach I feel completely horrible again. I curl up on the couch and watch TV but the TV is not entertaining (bad Sci-Fi channel movies) and I have a little too much energy to just lie curled up.  I alternate watching and playing Element TD.

This game is not good for me, it gets my brain all fired up, but much like the epileptic who lived in my apartment building when I was coding Reflex and begged to play it even though it put him into seizure EVERY time he played, I play on.

I begin to wonder about the roll of the lowering of my Xanax dosage in how lousy I have been feeling lately.

 
6/12/07

It's time to go back to doctors and see if I get put on Insulin today. I was just there two weeks ago, but the lab had screwed up what tests they were supposed to do and so the most important test (the A1C) never got done. I set my alarm last night (which always guarantees I will have a difficult time getting to sleep) and am dog tired when it goes off.

Turns out my A1C is down from 9.0 (ridiculously high) to 8.3 (merely dangerously high). The doctor gives me no points for this, and we go several rounds of "what can I afford?" - ending up on dropping the Actos ($180 per month) and adding Lantus (a slow release insulin injection - which with the added cost of needles magically comes to -- you guessed it -- $183 per month.)

I'm a bit nervous about taking insulin because it is difficult for me to keep track of a schedule which is vital with this type of medicine. I take the scrip to the pharmacy and because no one can read my new doctor's handwriting (this is the third person to remark on this) they get the prescription wrong. One shot a day, instead of two. Also, I've been assuming it is like the Byetta - which is to say that it will come with its own injector, but no - it requires a syringe. So back to CVS I go, and eventually get everything straightened out.

Thankfully it is very overcast so all this traveling does not wear me down much.

 
6/14/07

There is probably going to be a lot of talk about blood levels the next couple weeks. I know its tedious, but monitoring it is pretty much running my life until I go back to the doctor's on the 26th. Today I start eating more normally and my levels rise a bit but the new med seems to be having some effect. I feel much better for it.

While trying to fall asleep I start having these thoughts of anxiety about the end of my life. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep. Around midnight I realize I have forgotten to take my Xanax. Its kind of scary, how dependant  on that little pill I am.

 
6/15/07

As I was finally falling asleep last night, I thought of something I should write here. I'll be damned if I can remember what it is now.

 
6/16/07

Saturday again.  Grams again. I miss Tammy, she kept us entertained. 2 eggs over medium, home fries - burnt, rye toast and a side of hollandaise. It's my usual and it get's my metabolism revved up from a week of less than 1500 calorie days. Even with the Lantus my blood sugar goes through the roof. When tested them 3 hours later it's 241- the highest been since starting the shots (and testing constantly.)

Dan discovers SUE, a Firefox add-on for StumbleUpon. Now I know how some people are doing things you can't do on SU. I play with this most of the day, as Dan uses a bunch parts laying around the house to upgrade one of the computers.

I've finally gone as far as I can in Xeno Tactic. Now maybe I'll get back to getting some work done. I'm starting to feel guilty for not getting more done before I stop working in August.

 
6/17/07

"Half the teens that died in car crashes in 2005 were killed between 3pm and midnight. Check your teens driving curfews."

I'm staring at this statistic. I love really stupid statistics. Think about this for a minute. 50% of teen auto deaths occur between 3pm and midnight. That means 50% occur between midnight and 3pm. Considering the high percentage of teens in school between and 9am and 3pm, that almost indicates that it is more dangerous per capita to be driving between midnight to 3pm. Yet the statistic (and presumably the inferred laws) lead you the other way.

I'm forced to adjust my regular weekend meal. I assume the potatoes are to blame. So two eggs scrambled, rye toast, grits and sausage. Figure in the butter for the grits and it is probably almost as caloric as the normal meal but more are coming from the fat and proteins. This adjustment has the desired effect - my reading 3 hours later is 159. Isn't this just fascinating reading? :)

Caren (being my other primary care physician they are stuck with me and so Caren is still on the job for me) calls Friday to say that they have had some success with a combination of medicines that would make sex potentially enjoyable or at least less painful. Oddly I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've gotten used to being out of the game and consequently there isn't anyone in my life romantically. And the timing of the meds pretty much removes any question of spontaneity. I guess I'm grateful for the option, but am unsure of whether I will try to avail myself of it at this late date.

However, with the idea in my mind, suddenly everything seems sexual these last few days.

 
6/18/07

 
6/25/07

I haven't posted in a while. Not a whole lot going on. Tracy will be out of contact starting Friday which sucks, but then six long weeks later she will be here, so there is that.

Bob Dutton emailed me, explaining that his life is chaotic and that he will get in touch with me when he gets back from a trip.

My mother's spinal shot went well this time so she will up and about and relatively pain free for a few precious weeks.

A casino is in the works for Middleborough and planning its effects on the town seems to be my sisters preoccupation for the time being.

Stumbling still cutting into both TV and productivity time, but I'm managing to get a little bit of work done. Cash coming in still isn't even close to cash going out though.

 
6/26/07

After two weeks of taking my blood sugars four times a day and being very conscious of what I ate, I went back to the doctors today. First let me say that my head has been much clearer than previously, so some of my befuddlement that I had attributed to the CDS was probably elevated sugar levels. The doctor was relatively pleased with the results and merely switched when I take the meds rather than increasing them - which she had been previously certain she was going to do. I go back in ten weeks.

Some time ago I had started bartering with my massage therapist. One hour of massage for one hour building a webpage. I would alternate paying for one session and one session barter. At some point she complained it wasn't showing up in the searches (no big surprise since I had not finished building it yet. It was sort of like complaining to the contractor that you didn't have any renters while he was pouring the foundation.) So, rather than wait on a one per one basis I went ahead and finished the project (I should have complained back that I wasn't feeling any results from the massage I hadn't received yet, but that did not occur to me until now.) A month or so later, she wants out of the deal because she isn't seeing any business from it (never mind that she refuses to do any of the steps to raise her visibility - that I have carefully explained to her and that I can not do because I am not privy to her personal information.) So, refusing to give any more money to someone that has basically ripped me off, I stop going. I don't take down the site because A) I'd be doing more work for nothing and B) the site will expire on it's own in about 9 months and by then it will have worked its way into the local market organically and so she will feel its absence more then.

For a while it seems that the pain has leveled off at a bearable level and I think, maybe I can skip this expense altogether. But then after a couple months my arms and shoulders are pretty bad and then I had a spasm day and everything knotted up from that. So I go online and look for a replacement. It is very hard for me to make choices any more but eventually I pick one. Time Out Massage and Spa. Today was the appointment for that.

Right from the beginning it was whole different experience. A nice professional looking place, and machines to answer the phone so unlike with Linda she wasn't  running out to the other room every ten minutes during the massage. Beth was surprising strong even for a masseuse. And she managed to really open up my left shoulder blade. She didn't concentrate as much on the right, but hopefully next time we will concentrate there. Regardless, I think I made a very good choice and heartily endorse the establishment.

 
6/28/07

Spent yesterday eating and driving around on errands that just wouldn't seem to get completed. I have to go again today and get my prescriptions filled because  yesterday the scrips I had had expired. I really should get a closer pharmacy.

I finally got a package of DVDs together for MK and was surprised at the number of completed projects. I think that is more from not having mailed a package in some time than actually getting any quantity of work done, but still it was nice to know that some forward motion is taking place. We've had a slight up tick in the number of orders and it almost seems possible that with a - probably unrealistic - amount of effort we could serious slow the hemorrhaging of cash that is going on around here.

I was recognized today. While I was waiting around CVS forever while they straightened out my doctor's mistake in the prescriptions, a woman approached me and asked if my name was Garth. Figuring she knew me from from Gram's or a friend of Marilyn's or some such I answered yes. She said she recognized me from my website and that her husband had cancer and that she had taken some measure of "courage and comfort" from my writings.

It was weird being recognized. The whole writing process on the internet is so semi-anonymous. I mean, I know some of my family and friends are reading, but I just don't expect to bump into strangers. Still it left me mostly with a warm feeling.

 
6/30/07

The picture below is true, but only from playing too many online video games.

I think Sheila isn't working at Grams much any more and with Tammy fired there just doesn't seem to be much point in putting up with the terrible service. Ironically the food is better than ever, but that might just be because I'm eating so much less of it in general.

I found myself slumped against the wall. Dan said a child had screamed and I dropped like a sack of potatoes. They delivered butter to the table while I was out. I wonder if Robin didn't notice or if I've done this enough that that I used to it. Half the time I think I'm unaware of the downtimes.

Anyway, I think I'm going to take a break from there for a couple of weeks and see if they get their act together.

Back at the house we set about finally getting some work done. I'm trying to set up something that can bring Dan some income so that he can still eat while I'm not around. We rebuilt one of the computers to include a DVD drive and few other needed parts and set up a Sell.com account for Dan. I created a template for the listings and now Dan is inputting the title from "The Pile" while is items that still need cleaning up. But we will be selling them cheap, and hopefully therefore in quantity. All related expenses come from the revenue generated, then we split what's left over. Fingers crossed.